27. Summary

While there are many more aspects to getting married, this website has covered the foundation on which you can build. The information on this website represents real things you need to know when planning your dream wedding.  Exchanging wedding vows is a huge step forward in life. Probably the most important thing to remember is that while you might want to jump right in to get things done, you should slow down and enjoy this entire process.

Keep in mind that you will have days of sheer exhaustion, which is perfectly normal. There will be days when you second guess your decisions and feel as though you can not go on but you can and you will. Just keep your eyes on the end, knowing that the one person you love more than anyone will soon be your spouse – connected for life!

If you begin to feel completely overwhelmed, take a deep breath and do not hesitate to ask for help. Remember, you have wonderful friends and family that are very excited for you and would do anything they can to make the planning stage easier and more enjoyable. Therefore, do not be nervous about asking and when someone offers, accept.

I wish you all the happiness and success in life, as you take this step toward an incredible journey filled with questions, love, concerns, change, fun and all good things. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I hope that the information provided on this website has been helpful and that you will in fact have your perfect, dream wedding.

26. Honeymoon Guide

Finally, after months and months of planning, sleepless nights, spending lots of money and standing before your family and friends while exchanging “I Do’s”, the wedding is complete and the love of your life is now your married partner. Now comes time for the fun stuff – the honeymoon.

This time is yours to enjoy, a time to relax after spending all your energy on planning your dream wedding. This time is for you and your life partner to get away and spend quality, romantic time alone! However, just as you did with your wedding, you will need to plan your honeymoon to ensure it is both exciting and safe.

26.1 Safety

As we all know, travel internationally and domestically has changed since 09/11. That means that no matter where you fly, you need to be prepared differently. For example, most airlines will require that you arrive for your flight a minimum of two hours prior to departure. This allows the airline ample time to check your baggage and for you to go through the new security screening. Keep in mind that if you have customs to deal with, you want to ask your travel agent or the airlines directly about time.

26.2 Convenience

To choose the best airline for your honeymoon, check their safety and schedule records, which would be extremely beneficial for non-stop flights.  You should also consider layovers and number of connecting flights so you can plan appropriately. If you do have a long layover and will need to book a hotel, make sure you book one close to the airport and preferably, one that offers free shuttle service to and from the airport.

26.3 Price And Quality

If you begin planning shortly after becoming engaged, you will have plenty of time to do some comparison-shopping. This will help you book travel, accommodation and transportation for the lowest price and highest quality.  You might also think about flying specialty airlines. In this case, by choosing to fly Regional Airlines instead of Qantas, you might actually save money since Regional Airlines specialises in travel to and from regional parts of the country. Typically, there are specialty airlines for many different destinations such as China, Jamaica, Canada and so on.

Honeymoon packages are generally a good deal. You will typically pay for your air travel, hotel accommodation, car rental, tours, gratuities and other amenities. By providing yourself adequate time, you can look at many of these packages in relation to booking everything separate and discover how much you will save.

26.4 Best Tips

With all the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon, it is easy to see why many couples overlook very important factors. With Smartraveller: The Australian Government’s travel advisory and consular assistance service in place, travelers can gather all the valuable information needed to make good decisions. Following are some suggestions on ways you can prepare for your upcoming honeymoon.

• Work with a reputable and qualified travel agency, finding one that is a member of the Universal Federation of Travel Agents’ Association (UFTAA) or similar. If you were planning a cruise, then they should be a member of the Cruise Line International Association. Each of these organisations follows strict guidelines and rules, which ensures that you will be receiving the appropriate expertise for your trip.
• Make sure you never conduct business on the phone. You should always sit down, face-to-face with the travel agent and be prepared with many questions.
• Regardless of the honeymoon type you want, you need to get every detail in writing. This should include things such as cancellation and refund policy, blackout dates, deposit, payment price, emergency contact numbers, confirmation numbers, name and travel information for the airlines, train, restaurants and so on.
• Take only a small amount of cash with you, opting to pay with a credit card for most of your purchases. This is especially important when traveling to foreign countries in that it provides you with a permanent record of transactions that might need to be disputed later when you arrive back home.
• When you have decided on your destination, do everything you can to learn about the location and learn emergency words that would include “police”, “fire” and “hospital” so should you find yourself in a bad situation, you can get help.

26.5 Saving Money

Start saving money immediately after becoming engaged. Unfortunately, too many couples take out loans for their honeymoon. Sure, they may travel across the world to romantic destinations but they are also starting their marriage out in debt. Even a few dollars every day will help cut the overall cost when you get to that point.

If you have always dreamed of having your honeymoon on an exotic island oasis but somehow a trip to Tahiti or Bermuda is simply not in the budget, you will find wonderful beach resorts in Australia. In other words, you do not have to give up on your dream but you might need to be a little flexible and consider different options. If you can not afford to go to your ideal honeymoon destination, then after the honeymoon, start saving and make this a trip for your first anniversary.

You can also save significant money by not taking your honeymoon from December through to February. These months are considered peak times, meaning you will pay double or even triple for everything. Instead, choose travel times from July through to September. The result is that you will get much more honeymoon for the money. In fact, the savings might be so dramatic that you can afford your trip to Tahiti or Bermuda.

Just be smart about your honeymoon and be open to suggestions made by your travel agent. Remember, you will be married to your sweetheart for a very long time so what you can not do now, you will have many wonderful opportunities to do later!

25. Showers And Parties

For weddings, there will be a number of different showers and/or parties, some at the beginning and some toward the end. For instance, you might have family or friends throw you an engagement party, a bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties and so on. These showers and/or parties are a time for friends and family to gather and share the excitement of the upcoming wedding.

25.1 Engagement Party

Becoming engaged is a very special occasion, one that should be celebrated.  The nice thing about this type of party opposed to a bridal shower is that both the bride and groom would attend. Typically, the attendees would include close family members, close friends and the people that will be standing up with you in the wedding.

25.1.1 Hosting

Going with tradition, the bride’s parents would serve as hosts, meaning they would help organise and pay. Now just like the rehearsal dinner, many families today are sharing the expense, which is nice in that both mothers and fathers can be involved with the planning. If the bride or groom do not have parents living or if they live in another city or state, then it would be appropriate for the best friend of the bride and groom to act as host.  However, in this case, it would be primarily your responsibility to pay for everything.

Regardless of the persons that will throw the engagement party, you should take time to talk to them about the things important to you. Sometimes, parents will have an idea of what they want, which might be completely different from what you want. While you should respect their ideas and try to incorporate them where you can, it is perfectly fine to have things the way you want.

25.1.2 Date

A date will need to be established. This should be a day of the week and time of day or evening that would be most convenient for the majority of people.  Obviously, as the couple getting married, your time would be what others would need to work around when setting the date. Once the date and time have been determined, then the invitation list can be created.

25.1.3 Location

Unlike some of the other showers and/or parties, the engagement party is generally held in a private home. Because of this, the host will need to find a home large enough to accommodate everyone on the list. If no home meets the needs, then a restaurant, clubhouse or community centre would be fine.  Additionally, an engagement party can be held outdoors on the beach or in a local park but typically, it would be held indoors.

25.1.4 Budget

Next, you will need to work closely with the host in establishing the budget.  Again, if the parents will pay, then you need to have an idea of the budget so you know the number of people you can invite as well as the type of location to choose. If the maid of honour or best man will be the host, they may or may not be adding to the fund. If they do plan to pay some or all, then again, you need to know so you can plan accordingly.

25.1.5 Incidental Expenses

With the budget in place, you can now decide the type of party it will be.  This would include paying for a location, food, drinks, decorations and entertainment. After you have performed the research based on the theme or style of party you want, you will know how much it would cost per person so you can then create the invitee list.

25.1.6 Invitees

Although you will be given suggestions on the people to invite, the bottom line is that you have the final say. Again, the usual list would include family members and friends that are close to you, the wedding party, neighbours and even co-workers. Firming up the list is important in that you do not want someone showing up that perhaps should not be there.

For example, if you have two friends that are feuding, then inviting both is a sure path to disaster or if you have your aunt coming and then your uncle and his new wife are invited, again, things could get ugly. For this reason, you will have the deciding factor on each person invited.

25.1.7 Invitations

For the invitations, you can find a number of great options at your local bridal store, stationary shop, hobby or craft store, retail store or if you prefer, you can make your own invitations. The invitations should set the tone of the party, giving people a hint of what they can expect.

In this case, if you were planning a formal gathering, then you want elegant invitations. However, if you prefer something more laidback, then choose whimsical or colourful invitations. One of the most important things to remember is that you need to let the guests know what to expect.

Just imagine planning an outdoor event where people could swim and enjoy barbecued chicken but having them show up in suits and dresses simply because you forgot to inform them as to the type of party. If you like, you can create a separate insert for the invitations that would include all the information needed.

For example, you could type or handwrite notes, letting each person know what to expect. For the casual engagement party, let them know to bring a bathing suit, towel, water games and plan to sip on beer and roast marshmellows or for a formal party, advise them that you will be meeting at a five-star restaurant and therefore, should dress accordingly.

25.1.8 Gifts

Depending on your preference, you may or may not want guests to bring gifts.  If you have most of the things needed to start your marriage and simply do not need anything, then write a note letting your guests know that gifts are not necessary. If you have a favourite charity, you might ask them to make a donation in your honour in lieu of gifts.

25.2 Bridal Shower

The bridal shower can be geared strictly toward the bride or if you like, it can be established as a co-ed shower. This type of shower is different from an engagement party in that with the engagement party, you are simply having your close friends and family members come together to celebrate the engagement with food and drink. However, with the bridal shower, guests would show up with gifts, as a way of helping the couple set up their home as husband and wife.

To help keep you organised as you plan the perfect bridal party, you should remember the five “W’s”.

25.2.1 What

What is this type of shower and why the tradition? Interestingly, bridal showers date to a time many years ago when a woman of financial means was interested in marrying a man that had no money. The bride’s father was extremely upset, thus refusing to offer a dowry for his daughter. Since this couple was very much in love but knew that they would not receive any financial support from her family, friends decided to throw them a party, asking everyone to bring gifts.

Today, this is the sole purpose of the bridal shower but with a twist. While the woman in the story received gifts without having any say in what she and her future groom would receive, today’s couples register at their favourite stores to provide some guidance to the friends. This way, they have much more say in the type and style of gifts received.

25.2.2 Who

The next W refers to the individual that will host the bridal shower.  Typically, this person is the maid of honour but again, with the bridal shower now becoming a coed event, both the maid of honour and the best man are going in together on the planning and financial aspects.

The traditional option, which most couples are not using as much, is to have the maid of honour work closely with the bride’s mother. Typically, the maid of honour would still steer the direction of the shower but would benefit from the input and assistance from the mother.

People to be invited to the bridal shower would include family members from the bride and groom’s side, along with close friends. Whoever is planning the bridal shower should co-ordinate things with the bride and/or groom, ensuring all the right people have been invited. When the list is complete, the invitations to include RSVPs would be mailed out.

25.2.3 Where

In most cases, a private home is the first choice for location although a nice hotel, botanical garden, day spa, the beach and a local park also make great choices. The goal here is to choose a location that reflects the bride and/or grooms personality and interests. One consideration when choosing location has to do with budget. For instance, opting to have the bridal shower at a private home has advantages in that you will avoid down payments and space rental.

25.2.4 When

The day and time will need to be co-ordinated with the bride and groom first.  The shower would generally be held anywhere from six to eight weeks out from the wedding date but keep in mind that if the bridal shower is large, you might need to start the planning much earlier. Another consideration is if there are key family members and/or friends coming in from out of state.

Although you can choose whatever day of the week that you like, Saturday night or Sunday afternoon seem to be the most common days. With Saturday night, you are not rushed to end the shower until you want and on Sunday afternoon, the atmosphere is intimate and relaxed.

25.2.5 Why

Finally, the last of the W’s is the “why”, relating to why the bridal shower is still thrown today. As mentioned, this tradition is long-standing but the reasons go beyond just receiving gifts. This shower is the ideal opportunity for everyone to gather and have a good time. When the bridal shower is made coed, you will have a blast playing games, eating, drinking, opening gifts and just spending quality time with the people you love most.

25.2.6 Ideas

Even if the bridal shower will be a bit formal, you still want to create a level of fun. After all, chances are that there will be people there that have never met. Therefore, you need some icebreakers and ways to keep the shower moving forward so everyone feels comfortable and relaxed.

This time is when the bride and/or groom can kick off their shoes and do nothing – a time to be pampered, if you will. You want the guests to walk away feeling as though they had a great time and experienced something unique. With careful planning and some creativity, you can accomplish just that, as you will see from the recommendations listed below:

25.2.7 Themes

Instead of just having friends and family members show up, sit down, watch as gifts are opened and then leave, choose a theme and go all out. You can choose a shower that has a whimsical, adventurous, intimate or other theme to put everyone in the mood for excitement and fun. The theme could relate to the type of decorations and food or to the type of gifts received. For the actual theme of the party, consider the following recommendations:

• Night At The Movies - Rent out a small theater so that all the standard things such as popcorn, nachos, candy, slurpies and other favourites are served. Then, you would decide on two or three movies and during intermission, the gifts could be opened.
• Wine And Dine – Have the shower at a five-star restaurant or dinner theater. Choose to have menu items such as liver pate, caviar, prime rib and champagne. All of the guests would be decked out in their finest evening attire and make this a serious time of celebration.
• Love And Lingerie – This type of shower would be considered “all-adult”, which is fine. Because of the nature of this theme, you want to choose a private home. Plan to serve foods such as fresh fruit, chocolate covered strawberries, miniature quiche, pecan tarts and champagne, which can be eaten during a fashion show, featuring real lingerie models. For the gifts, you might suggest things like oversized towels, his and her bathrobes, aromatherapy oils and candles and satin sheets.
• Celestial – All of the guests would be treated to a full treatment spa to enjoy a personal massage and facial while sipping on champagne.  Once the massage is over, everyone can meet in the natural mineral springs where they can munch on foods including cajun salmon dip and sesame crackers and caviar. Then, have a fondue pot set up with chocolate or cheese, served with fresh fruit, pieces of angel food cake, vegetables and crackers.
• Adventure – If your friends and family members tend to be the outdoor type that love adventure, then reserve time to rock climb, play beach volleyball, tennis or some other type of competitive sport.  To keep with the health and fitness theme, have a salad and juice bar set up. Guests could purchase gifts for sports or fitness such as golf lessons, tickets to a favourite football team and so on.

The other type of theme would be directly related to the gifts. For example, you might set up the shower so that each guest is asked to bring specific items. If the shower will be coed, then all the men would be asked to bring something for the garage. This could be a tool, can of paint, organiser or other “manly” item. For the bride, perhaps the theme would be kitchen where guests would bring dishtowels, dishes, cleaning supplies, cooking utensils, etc.

This is not meant to stereotype so you can choose whatever items you like.  Many times, the maid of honour and best man will choose several rooms in the home that they know the couple need items for and then arrange the gift ideas around the room.

25.2.8 Games

Most bridal showers include games and while some people may think it is silly, you can be sure that they make great icebreakers and create a fun time for everyone. While there are thousands of games, I have chosen a few of the more popular options.

• Wedding Dress – To play this game, you would buy 24 rolls of white toilet paper. Next, your guests are divided into two or more groups, each with four or five people, making sure the bride and groom are in opposing groups. The goal is for each team to take toilet paper and create the “perfect” wedding gown. To secure the gown, no pins or clips can be used.

Additionally, if the team wants to make extra points, they can also design shoes, a veil, flowers, a handbag or any other accessory that would go with the gown. The judges would be the bride and groom’s mothers. Be sure to take tons of photos to put in your wedding album and get ready for some serious laughs.

• Know The Bride And Groom – Both the bride and groom will complete a list of things about themselves, preferably things no one else knows about. You should try to list a minimum of 30 things, covering everything from the strangest thing you have ever eaten, to your last vacation spot, to your secret phobias.

Then, the guests will each have a pad of paper and pencil, along with a list including the identical questions asked. The men at the party will fill in the blanks for the groom and the women will answer for the bride. The goal of this game is to see which of the friends knows the bride and groom the best.

25.2.9 No Host

This option is becoming more and more popular in that the responsibility of the shower does not fall on one or two individuals. In this situation, each guest would pay for his or her own food and drinks. If you were planning a barbecue, then someone may bring burgers, someone may bring steaks and another guest chicken. Again, the goal is to create an atmosphere when everyone has a good time.

25.3 Bridal Party Luncheon

As the bride, you will depend on your maid of honour and bridesmaids heavily during the planning of your wedding. Although you knew they were your close friends before, once the wedding is complete, you will realise just how special they are. During the planning stages, these women will be there for you through thick and thin, doing everything they can to make your life easier and less stressful.

To show your appreciation for all they have done, you might consider surprising your maid of honour and bridesmaids with a luncheon in their honour. This gesture is simply a way of letting them know how much you value their friendship and assistance. Keep in mind that this time is for the girls only, meaning no boys allowed.

25.3.1 Location

Set something up on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon so you are not rushed to get home and consider something a little different from your typical lunch.  For instance, you could take them to the local art museum and have a special meal catered for, you might find a rotating restaurant and give them free reigns of the menu or make a special day at a botanical garden, butterfly garden, day spa, winery or a fashion show at a local hotel.

25.3.2 Gift Giving

Traditionally, the bride buys each member of the bridal party a special gift.  During the lunch, when you are all off spending time together, you could take this opportunity to present each of them with their gift. While some brides will purchase identical things for each person, you might put a little more thought into the buying than that.

These gifts do not need to be expensive, just something that would be cherished by the recipient. As an example, if one of your bridesmaids collects frogs, you could buy her a bejeweled frog trinket box. If another member of the bridal party has beautiful long hair, you might think about some type of hair jewellery. Finally, if another of your bridesmaids loves to travel, then perhaps a small tote for her trips would be ideal.

When it comes to buying a gift for the maid of honour, generally, you would spend just a little more on her gift. Do not feel that you would offend the bridesmaids in that they understand her role is a very special one. Since the maid of honour is probably your closest sister or best friend, you can go to the next level and buy her something extra special.

25.3.3 Bridesmaid Cake

Did you know that there is an actual cake called a Bridesmaid Cake? There is and this cake is one that has a small trinket baked inside. Now remember that if you plan to have the luncheon at a restaurant, museum or other public facility, you may need to gain approval to bring the cake in with you.

The Bridesmaid Cake can be baked by a local bakery, as long as they are supplied with the trinket. If not, you could make a simple box cake. For the trinket, this would be something like a silver charm, thimble or a coin. The cake and the frosting should be cherry, raspberry or strawberry, anything pink.

The tradition with the Bridesmaids Cake dates back to the Victoria era and involves the cake being sliced into normal size pieces. The woman that gets the piece with the trinket will be the next one to marry. While she may or may not actually be the next person to get married, the tradition is fun and the cake delicious!

The second part of the tradition involves six different trinkets. Each of these trinkets would be something with a special meaning. One might be a silver clover for good luck. Others might be a heart for love and a dollar sign for coming into money and so on.

The trinkets will each have a thin piece of ribbon attached, which are then baked into the cake with the ribbon sticking out of the cake. As each member of the bridal party is given her slice of cake, she would pull on her ribbon to uncover her trinket, which would then tell her future.

25.4 Bachelor / Bachelorette Party

While the bachelor party has been around for a very long time, the bachelorette party only got started in the late 1960s. Both parties are designed for all the men and all the women to let loose and have fun before the wedding day. While some couples will attend these parties the night before the wedding, it is advisable that the parties are several days out to ensure the bride and groom are not hung over and fresh and alert.

One problem with having a bachelor and bachelorette party is that you can get too carried away, thus creating major tension before you even become husband and wife. For instance, if the groom were to go with his friends to a strip club, the bride might not approve or vice versa. Therefore, to make sure no arguments develop from these parties the two of you should sit down and talk about guidelines out of love and respect.

Traditionally, strip clubs and bars are a part of the bachelor and bachelorette party but they are not mandatory. You can choose respectable choices if you like and have just as much fun. For instance, if you live somewhere near a vineyard or winery, plan a wine tasting party. If you have a good Mexican restaurant nearby, then go out for an authentic Mexican meal and learn to Salsa.

If you prefer parties with a little more action, then do something physical such as rock climbing, parasailing, surfing, sky diving or bungee jumping. For a subdued party, why not treat everyone to an evening at a full treatment spa. After a massage, facial and foot treatment, you can be pampered with a meal consisting of all your favourite foods.

The options for a bachelor and bachelorette party are limited only by your imagination. Take golf lessons, enjoy a movie marathon or go to a NASCAR race, whatever it is you and your friends enjoy. Just remember that the purpose of these parties is to have one last “hoopla” before tying the knot!

24. Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is another important aspect of the wedding. To make it successful, you will need to plan carefully and stay organised. With rehearsal dinners, you can choose something traditional and formal or a relaxed and casual gathering. Typically, you would choose what co-ordinates with the style of wedding although you can always choose the type of dinner that suits your personality and lifestyle.

The first step is to decide what type of rehearsal dinner you want. Start planning a minimum of one month prior to the wedding date in that this will open up more options for reserving space. You then need to determine the location of the rehearsal dinner as well as the time.

Although the families are sharing the expenses more and more, typically, the groom’s parents are the ones to host the dinner. Therefore, your choices and desires should be discussed with them. Make sure they stay closely involved when it comes time to choose location and menu, since they would be paying.

For a formal dinner, the men should wear a suit and tie and the women, a cocktail dress. On the other hand, if the rehearsal dinner is less formal, the men could wear khaki pants and a pullover shirt and the women a dress, skirt and blouse or pantsuit. If the dinner will be ultra casual, then advise the guests on the invitation, as to proper attire. This might include wearing shorts for a barbecue or jeans for the beach.

The key is to provide proper information to your guests so they arrive dressed appropriately. After all, you do not want them to be embarrassed or uncomfortable. The rehearsal dinner should be a time of joy and fun. By carefully planning the rehearsal dinner and keeping the guests in mind, you can create a wonderful occasion for everyone.

24.1 Specific Ideas

As mentioned, with the rehearsal dinner, you can be as creative as you like.  You can make the occasion formal and traditional or simply an intimate gathering of the people you love. The goal is to find the perfect balance between the menu, the attire and the festivities. The following are ideas that many couples use for their dinner:

24.1.1 Casual

• Picnic At Sunset – Locate a nearby park and reserve a shelter house.  Set the dinner to begin about an hour before sundown and then have tables set up along with blankets on the grass. Then, set up individual baskets of wine, cheese, gourmet bread, deli meats and fresh fruit.  For dessert, use the tables in the shelter house for serving cheesecake, brownies and homemade ice cream.
• Beachside Party – If you are fortunate to live by the beach, you can set up volleyball nets, horseshoes and various water games. For the actual dinner, set up a buffet table to include fish, shellfish, fresh salads, fruits, breads and wine. In the background, you can have music from the 1960s through the 1980s playing and Tiki torches burning. After the sun sets, start a bonfire where you can sit around and sing, roast marshmellows and make S’mores.
• Barbecue – Another fun and popular choice is to have a barbecue.  This type of rehearsal dinner can be held at a park or even someone’s home. You can rent picnic tables, covering them with red and white checked tablecloths. Set up a number of barbecue grills and cook hamburgers, chicken, hotdogs or steaks are grilled along with fresh corn on the cob, sweet onions and pineapple rings. Then, you can set up an area for games such as volleyball, badminton or horseshoes. If your budget will accommodate, you can hire a band to play music for some great dancing.
• Fiesta – An authentic fiesta is an excellent option for your rehearsal dinner. Have Mexican food catered in, to include enchiladas, burritos, tacos and margaritas. Cover the tables with bright tablecloths and set up a piñata for entertainment.
• Luau – Set up a luau complete with pig roast, hula dancing and tropical drinks. You can have soft music playing in the background and sit around a roaring bonfire.

24.1.2 Formal

• Dinner Theater – A dinner theater offers a wonderful atmosphere that is romantic and fun. While eating dinner, you can sit back and enjoy a great show. The time spent together will be something your guests will not forget.
• Four- Or Five-Star Restaurant – Many rehearsal dinners are held in an elegant restaurant. Typically, they will offer a private banquet room where the dinner will be held. The tables would be set up with crisp linen and if you request, the catering department will often work with your wedding colours to create a centrepiece and other decorates that are personalised.

23. Wedding Favours

Wedding favours are typically small items given to guests, family and members of the wedding party, as a gesture on the part of the bride and groom in showing their love and appreciation. These favours are the couple’s way of saying “Thank you for coming to our wedding” or “Thank you for participating in our wedding day”.  The nice thing about wedding favours is that there are so many different options, you can be sure there is something for everyone.

As you will see from the information in this post, the choice of favours runs the gamut from edible to plants to candles and everything in between.  The key is to choose favours that are specific to your friends and family. You can choose the same type of favour for the guests at your wedding reception and then purchase or make special favours for out-of-town guests, mothers and fathers and the bridal party.

23.1 Types Of Favours

Choose favours that you know your guests will enjoy and have fun with this aspect of the wedding planning. This too is an opportunity for the wedding party or family to gather and make favours. We will break down some information, to give you very specific ideas.

23.1.1 Plants And Flowers

You can never go wrong when choosing plants and/or flowers as favours.  Whether choosing live plants, containers or potpourri recipes, the goal here would be to stay with the plant and flower theme. This type of favour is especially nice for those hard-to-buy-for guests. Here are some recommendations to consider:

• Flower Bulbs – In most cases, if you plan well enough, you can order hundreds of flower bulbs through a mail order company on the internet. This will provide you with the best variety and price. For the presentation, you can wrap three flower bulbs in colourful cellophane and then secure it with a ribbon. Then, take a small note card with the instructions for planting and punch a hole in the top, string the ribbon through and then you have a beautiful favour.
• Long-Stem Silk Rose – Many of these roses are very realistic looking, some even with faux droplets of water on them. Taking a single silk rose, you can again wrap it with ribbon and attach a note of sentiment or a handwritten poem, stringing the ribbon through a punched hole.
• Daisies – Daisies are beautiful and very affordable. Using small squares of toile, you can create a pouch in which you have placed daisy seeds. Again, attach a note with the planting instructions, typed up neatly with ribbon.
• Wildflowers – Use miniature terra cotta pots that can be purchased from your local flower shop or hobby store, paint a design with craft paint and then the name of the bride and groom, along with the wedding date on the bottom. Next, place four packets of different types of wildflowers inside the pot along with a handwritten note.  Finally, tie a thin piece of ribbon around the rim, tying it off in a bow.
• Sapling Trees – These trees are actually inexpensive and because they will grow into gorgeous full-size trees, the guests would think of your special day each time they see it. Many times, you can buy these in bulk from an online mail order company. Wrapped with ribbon, simply include the planting instructions.
• Miniature Potted Plants Or Cacti – You can purchase this type of plant at your local garden or hobby stores. With the small size and huge selection, your guests will love this gift.
• Miniature Watering Cans – Most hobby stores sell these cans for $1 to $2 each. Inside place two packets of seeds along with the instructions. On the spout portion, you can wrap a small piece of ivy and ribbon.
• Green Bottles – Most hobby stores sell miniature green bottles for around $1. To create the favour, place a single, miniature rose in each along with a sprig of Baby’s Breath.
• Teacups – If your wedding is formal, you can purchase inexpensive teacups and saucers. Again, fill the cup with a variety of flower packets and a personal note.
• Potpourri is a wonderful favour that can be wrapped in fabric and tied with ribbon.

23.1.2 Holiday

For holiday weddings, you can be extra creative by offering guests a favour that can be used each holiday as well. The favours would be festive and unique.

• Christmas ornaments make excellent favours. You might consider a theme such as snowmen or angels and then choose a variety of ornaments in that theme. To keep to a tight budget, you can always make ornaments. An excellent option would be to take a piece of felt, a hot glue gun, dried flowers, ribbon and craft glue. Cut the felt into various shapes and then with the hot glue, attach the flowers and ribbon. To embellish the felt even more, use gold or silver paint to create a border or design. Finally, attach the felt to a piece of cardboard in the same shape and then attach a piece of ribbon to create a hook for hanging the ornament on the tree.
• Truffle boxes are beautiful and can be wrapped in gold paper that is then tied with ribbon that co-ordinates with the wedding colours. On the inside of each box, place chocolate covered mints, a packet of garden seeds, Jordon’s almonds or some other special treat.
• If you were planning a Valentine’s Day wedding, make special chocolate Valentines for favours. You can purchase candy molds at most retail, hobby or confectionary stores. All you need to do is buy the chocolate for melting and create your own candy. While the chocolate is still a little soft, roll it in colourful sprinkles. Once the chocolate has cooled and hardened, wrap several pieces in cellophane, tied with a matching ribbon.
• Springtime is a popular time of the year for weddings. In this case, you can purchase pastel Easter eggs made of plastic and fill each one with chocolates, Jordan’s almonds or even garden seeds. Take pieces of ribbon and with a hot glue gun, attach it around the seam of the egg. These favours can then be put on each plate at the reception along with a note.
• For a Halloween wedding, purchase miniature containers from your local hobby store such as coffins, pumpkins or Trick or Treat bags.  Inside, place both white and chocolate candy that has been wrapped in black cellophane or plastic, tied off with a white ribbon.

23.1.3 Miscellaneous

If you want something different, then you might consider some of these miscellaneous ideas.

• Terra Cotta Pots – Purchase miniature pots and embellish them with things such as glitter, faux gems, twigs, lace, paint and so on. Inside the pot, place a votive candle, potpourri or candy inside, wrapping a piece of ribbon around the rim.
• You can have bottles of bubbles personalised and passed out to each guest. When you leave the church on your way to the reception, the guests can have a blast blowing bubbles at you.
• Candles – Candles always make great wedding favours. You could choose miniature taper candles of three to four different colours that complement your wedding. Wrap the candles with lace and place them at each place setting at the reception. Other options include buying candles in the shape of a heart.
• White scented candles come in beautiful glass containers that have a sealable glass top. You could choose a romantic fragrance such as vanilla, gardenia or orchid.
• Antique-looking silver or pewter frames are another favour that people love because they can be used for years
• A miniature book of poetry is a beautiful and romantic gift coupled with a bag of English Tea.
• Silver bottle stoppers are sleek and are great in that they are practical and elegant. These stoppers are designed to work with any type of wine or liqueur bottle and each time used, will bring back memories of your wedding day. You can also buy stoppers in many different shapes such as a silver heart, which is refined, cross, geometrical designs and you can even have designs custom made.
• For out-of-town guests, leave chocolate mints on the pillows along with a beautifully written poem or note of gratitude.
• For small children, create a basket filled with wrapped toy favours.  These are inexpensive and the children will love the fact that you remembered them.
• For an intimate reception, you could have dinner invitations created with Chinese calligraphy. These invitations would then be rolled up like a scroll and tied off with bamboo string.
• Customised magnets can be purchased on the internet. You could use a copy of your engagement photo and then have a quote or clever saying printed underneath.
• Have a music CD produced to include all your favourite songs. If you have a computer with a CD burner, you can create your own CDs for just the cost of the blank CDs. If you do not have a burner, you can purchase one for less than $100. Once the CD is complete, use plain plastic covers that have been wrapped in gold or silver tissue paper.
• Print family recipes on special recipe card stock, insert them in covers for protection and then tie about 10 together and set at each plate along with two baked cookies from one of the recipes attached.
• Pomander is a wonderful option and is something that can be made as a project. Start by wrapping tape around an orange, dividing it into halves. Then, with a nail, you will poke holes in the skin, making sure you avoid the tape, keeping the holes approximately one-half inch apart. Inside each hole, you will press a whole clove and then roll the orange in a mixture of cinnamon and orrisroot powder. Shake off the excess and wrap the orange in tissue paper. Allow it to dry for four weeks in a warm, dry place. Next, remove the tape, replacing it with a picot edged ribbon that co-ordinates with your wedding colours. Tie with a bow and secure it with pins. You can then wrap each of the pomanders in a square of toile, tied off with additional ribbon.
• Fragrant soap is something that can be purchased or made.  Regardless, choose miniature bars and wrap them in fabric that matches your wedding colours. If you make the soap, you might attach a card with the name and recipe.

23.1.4 Purely Edible

• Buy black favour boxes, lining them with white tissue paper. Inside, fill the box with Oreo cookies or dark chocolate covered peanut butter cookies. Then tie the box with a red ribbon.
• Brandy Glasses – Small, inexpensive brandy glasses can be purchased at department stores, hobby stores or on the Internet. Fill a piece of coloured cellophane paper that matches your wedding with chocolate covered nuts such as almonds, cashews or pecans. Set the candy down inside the glass and on the stem or side of the glass, create a design or write the name of the bride and groom.
• Your guests would love fresh, juicy strawberries, peaches, cherries or nectarines. Buy wax paper bags, filling them with a few of each of the fruits. Close the top off with gold or silver ribbon or a colour that matches your wedding. You can also buy candied fruits in place of fresh, if you like. Then attach a romantic quote to the outside!
• You can never go wrong with fudge. Buy small, favour boxes that co-ordinate with the colour and style of your wedding. With a hot glue gun, add a trinket of something that has a significant meaning and fill each box with fudge. Finally, tie the box with ribbon that has been printed with the bride and groom’s name.
• Chocolate “coffee” spoons are not only pretty but also edible.  Created with plastic spoons dipped in white or dark chocolate, these spoons are then covered with plastic or cellophane and tied off with a bow that co-ordinates with the wedding colours.
• A bag of Jordan’s almonds in plastic and then wrapped with cloth is something everyone will enjoy.

23.1.5 Beverages

• Dried tea or gourmet coffee placed at each of the guests’ seat is something they can enjoy well after the reception.
• Take pieces of cellophane or cellophane bags and fill them with loose green, oolong or jasmine tea. Then, attach a special spoon for loose tea with ribbon. Another option is to wrap three different samples in separate pieces of plastic and then wrap all three in the cellophane.
• Create bags of hot chocolate and miniature marshmellows for the children, along with a cute quote.
• If you plan to have alcohol at your reception, visit a liquor wholesale company or liquor store and purchase miniature bottles of wine, champagne and soft liquors such as Bailey’s Irish Cream or DiSorono Amaretto. You can then order personalised labels with the bride and groom’s name, wedding date and a famous quote to stick to the bottles.
• Gourmet coffee also makes a great beverage favour. Purchase small boxes made of pressed cardboard from your local hobby store and then spray paint them a colour to co-ordinate with your wedding. If you like, you can also use craft paint to decorate the boxes. When dry, line the box with plastic and place individual packets of gourmet coffee inside.

23.1.6 Sports

Whether you are a spectator or participating sports enthusiasts, you can offer sports inspired favours that your guests will love.

• If you love golf, have golf tees personalised with the bride and groom’s name and the wedding date. These can be placed in a small piece of foam and placed on each plate. On top of the tees, carefully place a chocolate golf ball.
• For anglers, you could choose fish-shaped pens that have been personalised with a catchy phrase.
• If hockey is your sport, you can purchase chocolate hockey pucks, wrapped in black cellophane. Another option would be to buy real pucks and use them to weigh down balloon bouquets.

23.1.7 High-End

If you are not on a tight budget, you might consider some of the following favours:

• Picture Frames – This would not be just any picture frame but silver, pewter or frames that are bejewelled.
• Candy Dishes – Monogrammed with the bride and groom’s name and the date of the wedding, choose silver dishes and have them filled with gourmet petit fours or Jordan’s almonds, wrapped in cellophane.
• Paperweight – You can buy beautiful Stuben or Waterford crystal paperweights in the shape of a heart.
• Trinket Box – Silver or crystal heart-shaped boxes are a wonderful gift.
• Decorative Miniature Plate – These plates are ideal for storing small pieces of jewellery or other small personal items.
• Candles – A Rigaud scented candle in cherry, cranberry, lavender or lilac would be beautiful sitting down inside a silver mint julep cup.
• Napkin Rings – Choose brushed silver with the bride and groom’s initials monogrammed on each.
• Caviar – Small tins of caviar with two silver or mother of pearl spoons and a miniature bottle of champagne would be sure to please.
• Photo Album – You can even have small photo albums custom made with your choice of fabric. Fill the first page with a copy of your engagement photograph.
• Throws – Soft Pashmina throws are a wonderful favour that guests can take home to snuggle with.
• Specialty Boxes – Battersea boxes can be custom designed with the bride and groom’s initial and date inscribed on the bottom.
• Vintage – You can visit a local vintage store and find all types of wonderful favours such as trinket boxes, silver bookmarks, ribbons and books.
• Candy – Personalised lollipops designed as sugar sculpted in your choice of shape, colour and flavour are whimsical and delicious.

23.1.8 Lifetime Memory

• Purchase each of your guests a brick at a historical location, which would include their name and the date purchased.
• You can also buy each of your guests their own star, named after them.

Remember that wedding favours are simply an inexpensive way of thanking people for coming to your wedding.  Although the favours are small trinkets or something edible, your guests will know you went out of your way to consider them and do something special just for them.

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22. The Reception

After all your long months of planning, organising, running errands, interviewing people, paying deposits and so on, finally, the time has come for you to relax and enjoy the reception. As the finale to the wedding, you want this aspect of your special day to be something that guests will remember for many years to come.

Some couples will choose to have a small, intimate wedding, as a way of keeping the budget low and then throw a huge bash for the reception. In this scenario, just a handful of close family members and friends come to the wedding but then afterwards, hundreds of other family, friends, co-workers and neighbours will come to eat, mingle and dance into the wee hours of the night. Other couples want it all – a big, lavish wedding and a reception to match.

No matter what your preference, you will soon discover that all that goes into the reception consists of tremendous planning and work, as well as finances.  What we have done is put some recommendations together for you, helping you plan the perfect reception to go along with your dream wedding, without breaking the bank. First, we will discuss the budget.

22.1 Setting The Budget

Determining your budget is the first thing you will need to do. To accomplish this, you need to first decide what it is you want to offer your guests. For instance, do you want to provide them with a full meal, a buffet or simply drinks with appetisers? Do you want dancing and if so, are you leaning toward a live band, DJ or using home CDs. Are you planning to hire a caterer or would family and friends be making or bringing food in?

After giving careful thought to what it is you want, you can then begin to go over current prices and put your budget into place. With the budget set, you can now determine the menu, type of drinks, the exact band and so on. Now keep in mind that although many couples would love to have a full, sit-down dinner for all their guests, the cost will be high. Therefore, just as you have done with all aspects of your wedding, consider all your options and be creative!

Remember that the menu will not be your only expense. Just associated with the food aspect, you will probably be looking at table and chair rental, linens, plates, eating utensils, delivery, setup, cutting fees and many other things.  For this reason, you need to be honest about the cost and if anything, round up on your prices.

22.2 Reception Types

Again, you can go with a sit-down dinner, a buffet or any number of options, as you will see from the ideas listed in this post.

22.2.1 Midday Reception

By having your wedding earlier in the day, you can also move your reception time to midday, creating something unique. Foods served might include all types of salads, such as coleslaw, Caesar salad, potato salad, macaroni salad, gelatin salad, mixed greens and so on. Then, you can also offer guests a huge array of salad dressings to accommodate the salad. In addition to the salad, have a table set up that includes some wonderful homemade bread along with fresh fruit.

Although the midday reception would typically begin around 1:00 p.m. and last until about 5:00 p.m., you can have it start earlier and run later if you like. The goal with this type of reception is to serve your guests light foods.  If you wanted to add something more to the salads, you can always have finger sandwiches, various types of cheese and crackers, chicken wings, egg rolls and other favourites.

22.2.2 Dessert Reception

To create a magnificent reception that you know everyone will love, you can put together a dessert reception. Start serving food around 1:00 p.m. and keep the reception going until 4:00 p.m. or later. This type of reception is one that you know your guests will never forget.

The foods that would typically be served with a dessert reception include a wonderful assortment of sweets. The following are a few suggestions but of course, you can expand on this list all you want.

• Tortes.
• Cheesecake.
• Cookies.
• Pastries.
• Cakes.
• Cobblers.
• Ice cream.
• Tarts.
• Pies.

If you want to go all out, set up different dessert bars where the guests can actually participate in making the food. For instance, you could establish an ice cream bar where people either can make or have made banana splits, hot fudge sundaes and other yummy choices. Then, set up other foods that can be sprinkled onto the ice cream, which might include crumbled cookies, various small candies, nuts, etc.

22.2.3 Potluck Reception

If you happen to be on a real tight budget, a great solution is to create a potluck reception. With this type of reception, you send out invitations and instructions to the guests, asking them to bring various types of food. To ensure you do not end up with 20 green bean casseroles, you can send out 25% of the invitations asking guests to bring a meat dish, 25% to bring a vegetable or fruit dish, 25% to bring bread or appetisers and 25% to bring dessert. Then, you and your new spouse would be responsible for the beverages.

Two nice things about having a potluck reception is that first, you would be surprised at how most guests actually enjoy bringing food, feeling more a part of the festivities. Second, you will have a huge variety of foods, many being good, old family recipes that taste amazingly delicious.

If you have a family member or friend that is not involved in the wedding in any other role, he or she might be honoured to spearhead the organisation of the potluck. Many times, quality utensils and plates can be purchased at your local paper warehouse so cleanup is a snap. Other food items that would need to be purchased and should be the responsibility of the bride and groom include all the condiments.

22.2.4 Brunch Reception

A brunch reception is an excellent way to celebrate a marriage. For this type of reception, you could hire caterers that would set up individual food stations, each serving different types of food. For example, one station might make Belgium waffles, one station omelet’s, one station biscuits and gravy and so on and then you could have a meat-carving station for prime rib, ham, turkey and chicken. Other menu items might include Eggs Benedict, Danish pastries, champagne and fresh-squeezed juice.

In most cases, the brunch reception is affordable and offers guests a huge selection of some of their favourite foods. Obviously, you would schedule the wedding earlier in the day to make this type of reception work but the outcome would be a wonderful experience for everyone. With a casual setting, you might even choose to have an informal or casual wedding so guests will feel completely comfortable in casual attire.

22.2.5 Cocktail Reception

For midday or late afternoon weddings, having a cocktail reception that follows is something you might consider. Typically, this type of reception is very social and involves a relaxed atmosphere with close friends and family members. With the cocktail reception, you can choose to have it very casual or extremely elegant and formal.

If you have the financial means and you want to create a fairytale setting, then you can make the cocktail reception sophisticated and an event to remember. Options would include hiring an orchestra, having ice carvings, a champagne fountain and canapés and cocktails offered with other elegant foods.

The tables would be set with fine linen enhanced with lots of glowing candles, mirrors and exotic flowers such as Orchids and Hibiscus. The goal with a cocktail reception is to make it feel different from any other type of reception and making memories, special memories.

22.2.6 Non-Alcoholic Receptions

If your friends and family members are non-alcoholic drinkers, you can still offer a wonderful reception without any alcoholic beverages. In addition to considering your guests, you are also protecting them should someone drink too much and then get behind the wheel of a car.

Do not think for a minute that a reception without alcohol is boring because this could not be further from the truth. If you have compared the pros and cons of not serving alcohol and have concluded this is what you want to do, then you can offer your guests some very exciting and delicious alternatives.

You can begin by choosing a time for your reception that would typically not include drinking alcohol, perhaps from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Next, serve many of the favourites that typically have alcohol but make them virgin drinks – without liquor. Great choices include pina coladas, strawberry margaritas, daiquiris and so on. Instead of serving champagne or wine, you can provide sparkling grape juice, which is delicious! Other options include the following:

• Bottled Water – You can find both flavoured and mineral water and have them adorned with labels that lists the bride and groom along with the date of the wedding.
• Non-Alcoholic Beer – This product is something that many people drink in that they love the taste of beer but hate the calories and alcoholic content.
• Smoothies – Establish a smoothie bar where all types of virgin “foo-foo” drinks are made. For instance, you could blend fresh strawberries, bananas, orange juice, cream and ice and have a wonderful beverage with no alcohol. Specialty drinks can be made with all types of things such as fruit, juice and soda, to include apple cider, ginseng, orange or pineapple juice and pink lemonade.
• Punch – Go ahead and mix the cider or ginger ale, fruit juice and ice cream for a delicious punch.
• Soda – Be sure you have plenty of soda for guests to drink and offer diet, regular and even decaffeinated.
• Milkshakes And Malts – You can set up an old-fashioned ice cream bar with milkshakes and malts just like those served in the 1950s.

22.3 Catering

Most couples choose to have the reception catered in that they are simply too busy to organise everything on their own. In addition to catering taking a huge load off your shoulders, qualified caters can accommodate any type of reception, whether you choose to have the event outdoors, in a private home, a RSL hall, church or wherever.

With some ideas of your own, you can meet with various caterers and together, work out a plan that will create a memorable reception. Just as you did with the photographer and florist, you also want to talk to a number or caterers before you settle on just one. You will want to ask tons of questions and make sure the caterer specialises in food handling and preparation. Some of the most commonly asked questions include:

• What is the cost per person?
• Are linens, dishes and utensils included in the price or do they cost extra?
• Will you have an option of colours to co-ordinate with your reception?
• Does the fee include any equipment rental?
• Does the fee include set up, clean up and break down?
• Will the caterer personally handle the reception or will an assistant be on the job?
• How many years experience does the caterer have?
• Is the caterer and any helpers certified and bonded?
• Who would be the contact person should problems arise?
• Does the caterer also make the wedding cake and if so, would you be charged a cutting fee?
• Will a groom’s cake be included and if not, what would be the extra charge for having one made?
• Will the caterer provide beverages, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic and if so, what is the cost per drink?
• Is there a corkage fee per bottle?
• How close before the reception will the caterer need to know the final guest count?
• Will the caterer provide a written contract (if not, go elsewhere)?
• What are the payment, deposit and cancellation policies?
• Are gratuities included in the fee?

Never be nervous about asking for references and the caterer’s portfolio.  First, this will help you understand exactly the type of work you can expect and it will give you the needed confidence in making the best choice.

When you have finally found the caterer that you like and that can accommodate all your needs, then you will need to get everything in writing prior to making the deposit. Generally, the caterer will work closely with you on the menu. After all, you know more about your friends and family members than the caterer, meaning he or she will depend on you for input.

Some of the things that the caterer will need to know include the date and time of the reception, the theme of the wedding, the number of expected guests and any special menu needs, which might include food for diabetics or vegetarians.

22.3.1 The Menu

Now comes the fun part of planning the reception – deciding on the foods that will be served on the menu. When choosing food, keep in mind that to have a wonderful reception, you do not necessarily need to order the most expensive food on the menu. Instead, as long as the caterer knows your budget, he or she can make appropriate recommendations.

It is imperative that you think of your guests and the type of food they like.  Far too often, a couple will order an expensive appetiser only to find at the end of the night very few were eaten. While you might have thought the fancy appetiser would be a big hit, you forgot that your friends prefer simple foods.

Many times, the bride and groom think a wedding reception is a time to experiment with new foods, trying to go all out with gourmet foods that they typically never even think about so although the food may sound and look good, it is simply not eaten. If you are not sure where to start, you might take a poll from your family and friends, asking them what sounds good to them. This way, you at least have a foundation on which to build.  The following recommendations will also help:

• Stick with the basics. You might begin with appetisers, an entrée, wedding cake along with two or three additional desserts, followed by coffee and other beverages. Now, you and the caterer can begin to choose the specific dishes for each category.
• Be creative by expanding on the foundation. Remember that you want the menu items to compliment the time of day when the reception will be held.
• Make sure you always taste the food that will be served. While some caterers might suggest you taste food they make but not necessarily the exact food that will be on your menu, you want to know what your menu items will taste like. Therefore, always insist that you have a sample of the actual foods you will be serving your guests.
• Take your time with planning. Being organised and planning well are sure ways to create an outstanding reception without spending a fortune. This also means to know what all your options are so you make the right choices.
• Outdoor garden weddings are perfect for serving salads, soups and sandwiches under an oversized white tent. During the fall, fruit and vegetable soups, prime rib and fresh baked bread are excellent menu items. For cocktail receptions, consider offering appetisers with various cheeses such as Port Wine, Edam or Gouda, complemented with finger sandwiches.
• Foods that you can never go wrong choosing include Cornish Game Hens, Orange Roughy, Salmon and Mahi Mahi. Couple these with soup or a soufflé dip and you have yourself a winning combination.
• Go international – Set up eight or more food stations where various international foods are served. You could serve Italian, Mexican, Greek, Russian, French, Danish, Thai and Chinese, just about anything you want.
• Do not forget about the kids. Often kids become very bored at receptions in that none of the food choices interests them. To accommodate even the kids, set up several special food stations geared just towards them. For instance, you might have one food station that grills hamburgers and hot dogs, another that serves macaroni and cheese, another with chips and dip, yet another station with pizza and then finally, their own dessert station where they can make miniature sundaes!

22.4 Seating

Something you might not have even thought about is the importance of seating the right people at the same table. Just imagine having your good friend show up with her new boyfriend while her old boyfriend stares in disbelief. The last thing you would want to happen is for the three of them to be seated at the same table. This recipe is one for disaster but with careful planning, it can be avoided.

Although you can not please all of your guests, you can do your best to put the right people at the same table together. This way, you will have a much better time at your own wedding while ensuring the guests are comfortable. Sometimes, this is difficult in that you might not know who will show up. Therefore, you can only do your best and if a situation arises, be flexible to make last minute changes.

One of the best ways to get a handle on the situation is to send out RSVP cards with the invitations, which will give you a better idea of the guests that will come to your wedding. Now keep in mind that if you plan to use a caterer, then much of this responsibility would fall back on him or her.  With a seating plan, each table will have specific names so mix-ups are avoided. To help you create the seating arrangement, consider some of the following recommendations:

• Divide the invited guests into groups. For instance, you would have groups for family, co-workers, college friends, neighbours and so on.
• If you find that one or two groups are much larger than other groups, for instance, there are more people in the family group than the neighbour group, divide those in half, placing them at nearby tables. Therefore, if you have two long tables that are filled with a divided group of family members but you find that there are four open seats, you can use those extra seats for people that do not really fit into any specific group.
• If you do not want to put the guests in groups by category, then you can arrange the tables using other criteria such as age, marital status, interests and so on. Although this process is more complicated and time-consuming, it will work.
• Request a floor plan of the location where the reception will be held. If one is not available, then simply create one.
• If you will have live music or a DJ, be considerate of the elderly that may not want to sit near the loud speakers or the people you know will want to dance by seating them appropriately.

22.5 Music

Choosing the type of music for your reception is a major decision in that you want to make choices that will appeal to the majority of your guests.  You need to follow up on references when looking at bands and DJs to ensure you are paying for the type of music and work ethics you want.

Keep in mind that bands can be a little tricky since they typically fall into one of two categories. First, the band members are comprised of friends that are starting small with the anticipation of making it big. Second, they are professionals or friends that play together for the pure enjoyment of entertainment and music.

Neither group is better but the mentality is different. Therefore, no matter which category you choose, you want to make sure the band is mature in how they perform at weddings. In other words, the level of professionalism is not necessarily based on the number of years the band has played together but more on their mindset.

22.5.1 Live Band Or DJ?

When hiring a band or DJ, you need to go through a complete interview process. That means for a live band, going out to clubs to listen to the various bands so you can hear them live. Some bands, especially if they do not have a current gig, will offer a demo CD or tape. For the DJ, you want to see them in action on the job as well.

While listening to the band or DJ perform on a demo tape or CD is not a bad option, you really need to hear the music and skill in person. For one thing, in addition to hearing the actual music or DJ services, you will also be able to see how the band or DJ handles the crowd and behaves while on and off stage. Be prepared to ask questions such as the following:

• Will a member of the band or DJ serve as emcee or will they only play music?
• If there are any special messages from guests needing to be read, will the band or DJ accommodate these requests.
• What happens if there should be an emergency due to illness, injury or some other unforeseen situation? If so, will a backup player or DJ be provided? In this case, you would need to know the name of the player or DJ, his or her level of experience and other pertinent information.
• Will the band or DJ take music requests?
• Will the band provide a stage or do you need to rent one? Will the DJ provide all the equipment and music needed?
• Will the band or DJ adhere to your guidelines for attire? For example, if your wedding were traditional and formal, you would not want the band or DJ to show up in jeans and logo tee shirts.

For your wedding reception, you want everything to be perfect. Whether choosing Jazz, Top-40, Rock n’ Roll or Salsa, you want a band or DJ that is talented and knows how to work the crowd, encouraging them to get up on the dance floor. It is imperative that the band or DJ understands the formality of your wedding and reception, as well as the age of the crowd.

For instance, if your wedding will be formal, then you might prefer traditional music such as the Waltz, Rumba, Foxtrot and similar types of music. However, if the wedding is casual and consists of a younger group of guests, then you might go with Country and Western, Rock and Roll and then some fun songs such as the Chicken Dance or Monster Mash.

Another great option that has become very popular is to hire professional dance teachers to guide the guests through actual lessons. With this option, you could have someone teach the guests how to line dance, Salsa or whatever type of music you have in mind. The reason this option is so great is that it gets the guests involved, making the reception even more fun!

22.5.2 Music Selection

The fun part of the reception is choosing the genre that will be played.  Listed below, you will find some of the most popular music options being played at weddings today.

• Rumba – Classic ballroom, this type of dance is sensual and elegant.  Everyone can enjoy doing the Rumba and since the steps are based on a 2/4 or 4/4 beat, it is very easy to learn.
• Salsa – This dance is one of the hot choices for wedding receptions today. Latin American music is sultry and incredibly fun and like the Rumba, it has a beat of 2/4 or 4/4, meaning the guests will learn quickly and easily.
• Swing – Music from Benny Goodman is an excellent choice. With the beat being a 2/4 and 4/4 beat, it is very easy to learn. This dance is a great choice for a wedding reception in that the dance steps can adapt to just about any kind of music. Additionally, swing is fun and exciting.
• Waltz – Perfect for the bride and groom’s first dance, the waltz is a 3/4 beat. The steps are graceful and romantic and the steps easy to learn. You will find many wonderful songs that fit within the Waltz tempo.

Most people love to dance at a wedding reception. With hundreds of songs from which to choose, you can keep things traditional or mix them up.  These choices are very popular and would be a great guideline to get started.

• After All – Peter Cetera and Cher.
• All I Want Is You – U2.
• Always and Forever – Heatwave.
• At Last – Etta James.
• Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion.
• Chances Are – Johnny Mathis.
• Endless Love – Lionel Richie and Diana Ross.
• Everything I Do – Bryan Adams.
• From This Moment – Shania Twain.
• Grow Old With Me – Mary Chapin Carpenter.
• Have I Told You Lately – Rod Stewart or Van Morrison.
• Here And Now – Luther Vandross.
• I Could Fall In Love – Selena.
• I Do – 98 Degrees.
• I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden.
• In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel.
• I’ll Always Love You – Taylor Dayne.
• Lovesong – The Cure.
• Now And Forever – Richard Marx.
• Only You – The Platters.
• Stand By Me – Ben E. King.
• The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra.
• Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers.
• Unforgettable – Nat King Cole.
• Vision Of Love – Mariah Carey.
• What A Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong.
• When I Fall In Love – Nat King Cole.
• Women – John Lennon.
• Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton.
• You Are So Beautiful – Joe Cocker.
• You’re The Inspiration – Chicago.
• You Give Good Love – Whitney Houston.

22.5.3 The Contract

This is the most important thing to consider. Without a written contract, you could find yourself in a real mess and without a band or DJ on the most important day of your life. To ensure you have an ironclad contract, consider some of the following questions:

• How long has the band or DJ been playing music for weddings?
• How many musicians or DJs will be playing for the reception?
• What is the requirement for deposit and final payment?
• Are there any “hidden” charges for things like changing the music, adding another member, playing longer, etc.?
• Is the band or DJ covered by insurance and if so, what is included?
• If choosing a band, will the members be the same at your reception from what you interviewed?
• What is the refund and cancellation policy?
• In case of an emergency, what happens? Is backup provided? Who has the responsibility for securing backup?
• How much time is required for set up and break down and are you paying for this time?
• When does the contract need to be executed?
• Will you be expected to provide food and drinks for the DJ or band?

Each of these items should be covered in the contract and if you find a band or DJ that hesitates to put this and other information in writing, you should continue your search. Make sure you start the search about 8 to 10 months prior to your wedding date. Again, take time to interview many different bands and DJs so you are 100% confident in your decision.

22.6 Dancing

Dancing is often a big feature of the wedding reception, providing an opportunity for guests to kick up their heels and have some real fun.  However, as the newly married couple, you will take to the dance floor, completing your first dance as husband and wife. The official order of who takes to the dance floor and when is listed below but this too can be modified to your own preference:

• Bride and groom always dance together first.
• Bride’s father (or the person that gave the bride away) would dance with the bride next.
• Groom dances with his natural mother, followed by a step-mum, if applicable.
• Parents dance together, with both sets on the dance floor at the same time.
• Best man dances with the bride’s mother.
• Maid of honour dances with the groom’s dad.

22.6.1 First Dance

When it comes to choosing the perfect song, you probably want to pick the special song that you shared while dating. If you do not have a favourite song, then together, you can go through music to find one that represents your relationship. Try to choose a song that has real meaning and will hold a special place in your hearts.

For the traditional approach, you should choose the Waltz or Foxtrot, which can then be followed by your “special song”. Now something that the two of you should do without hesitation is several months prior to the reception, take private dance lessons. Keep this a secret between the two of you so that on your wedding day, as you take your place on the dance floor, you will wow your guests with your amazing skill.

Additionally, during the time the two of you are learning the Waltz or Foxtrot, you are taking a much-needed break from all the activities surrounding the wedding and reception planning. You can make this your special time together, away from family and friends. You might even go to lunch or dinner on the day of your lessons to make the entire process memorable.

Typically, your first dance will last around five minutes but if you want to dance to more than one song, it is perfectly fine to spend up to 20 minutes dancing. Just have the song selection flow so that it sounds and appears as one, long medley rather than separate songs.

22.6.2 Music For The Guests

Once the dance floor is opened up to your guests, they will need great music for dancing. Although there is no scientific method, you might consider starting out with a song that has a good tempo. Have this song followed by one or two more, upbeat songs and then slow things down for a couple of songs.

If you want to stick with tradition, then you would want the Waltz, Foxtrot and Rumba. For a more traditional reception you can spice things up with rock and roll, salsa and alternative music. However, the best option is to create a mix of everything. This will ensure all of your guests from young to old will have songs that they enjoy. What this does is improve your chances of actually getting people up on the dance floor.

22.7 Toasting

Most weddings have a time when toasts are offered to the newly married couple but for many, this process is confusing. The following guideline will help you to know who starts the first toast and then the order of additional toasts:

• Best man toasts the bride and groom.
• Groom toasts his new bride as well as her family.
• Fathers toast the bride and groom, as a married couple.
• Bride and groom offer a toast to each other.

To be a good host at your own wedding, you want to plan for this one aspect of the reception, as you will see below:

• The toasts should be brief.
• The individual offering the toast should always stand up to ensure all the guests can see and hear.
• The speech should be written in advance and practiced so it is presented seamlessly.
• Names should be used when being toasted. For example, rather than saying, “This toast is for the new bride and groom…”, the person should say, “This toast is to Sara and Greg, the new bride and groom…”
• Witty anecdotes can be used to keep things fun and light.
• The individual should speak slowly, loudly and clearly.
• Drinking alcohol should be postponed until the toast is complete.
• The speech should be tailored specifically to the newly married couple.
• A microphone should be used, which will help anyone with difficulty hearing or those seated in the back to hear the words being spoken.

While all of the toasts can be offered at the same time, you can also have them presented at various times throughout the reception. Other forms of etiquette would consist of the following:

• The individuals giving the toast should give careful thought to what they will say. Although a little bit of wit is fine, this day is special and deserves respect. Therefore, the toasts, regardless of who gives them, should be heartfelt and unique.
• If someone offering a toast feels nervous, he or she can use note cards to stay on track.
• The toasts should not focus on one particular story or event. For instance, if the best man begins offering a toast and tells a story of something that only he and the bride and groom would appreciate, then this would be considered rude in that none of the other guests would understand.
• If a person says anything about the bride and groom’s character, then a statement should be made that supports it. For instance, if a toast is given that references the couple’s adventurous side, then the toast might be something like, “To Sara and Greg, the most fun-loving couple I know. From their first date of bungee jumping to the excitement of today’s wedding, their life has been and will continue to be filled with fun and adventure.”
• The speech should not just consist of random chatter but have a few specific points. Instead of saying things like, “Sara and Greg are fun and loving…”, the toast could say, “Sara and Greg love to have fun and are often seeking new adventures. They are loving and kind, always giving of their time in volunteer work, organising activities for underprivileged kids.”
• The toast should never include anything negative, even in jest.  Again, the reception is a time of honour and respect. Therefore, it should not be used to poke fun at or take jabs at the bride and groom.

21. Flowers

No wedding would be complete without flowers. This one aspect of the wedding sets the stage, creating an inviting and relaxing place for the guests, as well as the wedding party. When thinking about the flowers for your wedding, you will find everything imaginable. In addition to the flowers that will be carried by the bridal party, there are also many other flowers to buy.

• Church decorations (front, end of pews, over an arbor).
• Family (mothers, fathers, grandparents).
• Throw Away (bouquet toss).
• Headpiece.
• Centrepieces at the reception.

The “right” type of flowers will bring colour, fragrance and texture to your wedding, making it look magical. Having a good idea of your options and the types of flowers you should buy will help avoid confusion. Therefore, to help you create the perfect ambience for your wedding, I have put the following flower guide together.

21.1 Flower Guide

Although you can choose whatever colour and type of flower you like, the goal would be to choose flowers that will complement the overall theme or colour of your wedding. Once you know that your wedding colours will be blue, yellow, lavender or whatever the case may be, then you can choose the appropriate flowers.

Some of the most fragrant flowers include gardenia, hibiscus, peonies, stephanotis and tuberoses. If you are looking for flowers that are elegant and romantic, you can never go wrong in choosing orchids or lily of the valley.

21.2 Popular Trends

Each year, it seems as though a new trend is established. One trend that has remained popular is called a “Champagne Wedding”.  For this type of wedding – the bride, groom and the entire wedding party would carry all white flowers. The result is a clean, fresh and crisp looking wedding that is absolutely, gorgeous.

On the other end of the spectrum, other couples prefer loud pops of colour, creating a contemporary style wedding. In this case, you would see large, bright red poppies mixed with various flowers of deep purple, radiant yellow and even blue. For a free-spirited type wedding, one where you want something romantic yet different, you might consider having the bouquets created with large, yellow sunflowers. These are stunning, definitely making a lasting impression. For an intimate wedding, you could choose posies intertwined with baby’s breath.

By working with a qualified florist, you can present your ideas and then have them brought to life with his or her skill. Together, you can come up with all types of amazing ideas and perhaps create a new trend of your own.

21.3 Wedding Party

Flowers for the wedding party will include those carried by the maid of honour, the bridesmaids and the bride, boutonnières for the groomsmen, the best man and the groom, flowers for the flower girl’s basket and depending on your preference, flowers worn as hair adornment or full headpieces.

21.3.1 Bride

Many different factors come into play when choosing the flowers that you will carry down the aisle. For example, if you happen to be small and petite, then you would want to carry smaller, daintier flowers. The same would be true if your wedding gown is extremely ornate since you would not want the gown and the flowers to be competing. Now, if you are tall or a larger built woman, then you could easily carry larger, more dramatic flowers.

When choosing the flowers for you, as the bride, you want to keep things balanced. Additionally, the flowers should co-ordinate with the theme of the wedding. In this case, if you have decided to have a Victorian wedding, you could choose to have a basket filled with long-stemmed flowers in place of the traditional, handheld bouquet.

Many women getting married today are choosing flowers other than the bouquet. For example, a popular option is to have fresh-cut flowers tied with a ribbon that matches the colours of the wedding. These flowers are then cradled in the arm. Called the “poppy” style, these flowers create an elegant and sophisticated look, as though the flowers were just picked right out of the flower garden.

With the poppy style, you would choose different types of flowers such as sweet peas and musk rose, both of which offer a wonderful, sweet fragrance.  Regardless of the flowers chosen, you want them to have a distinctly sweet aroma that lingers, as you walk down the aisle.

21.3.2 Bridal Party

If you were planning a traditional wedding, the entire bridal party would carry bouquets that are smaller than the bouquet carried by the bride. For these bouquets, you want to choose flowers that will complement the gowns worn, the theme of the wedding and the bride’s gown.

Although there would be little difference between the flowers carried by the bridesmaids and those carried by the maid of honour, you do want some slight variance. For instance, you might add just a little more colour or make the bouquet just a little larger. Sometimes, the bride will have the maid of honour carry an entirely different type of bouquet. The choice is simply one of personal preference.

You might even consider having headpieces designed, using very small and delicate flowers. You might consider having wreaths similar to what the flower girl might wear. Other options include barrettes adorned with flowers and ribbon or simply single flowers that would be worn in the back or on the side of the hair.

21.3.3 Flower Girl

If you will have a flower girl in your wedding, then you can use flowers in a number of ways. The flower girl could wear a darling headpiece. This could be designed as a wreath that would fit securely but comfortably on her head.  Created with miniature rose, daisies or other smaller type flowers with ribbons cascading down, she will look like an angel. For her basket, the traditional flower is roses. However, again, there is no right or wrong to the type of flower petals you choose.

21.3.4 Groom / Best Man / Groomsmen

For the groom, best man and groomsmen, they would wear a boutonnière, which is traditionally made from the shaft of a Lily of the Valley, a regular or miniature carnation or a rosebud. To create a nice touch for the groom, you could have the boutonnière created with two flowers whereas for the best man and groomsmen, you could stick with a single flower. Just remember, for the men, you want to think small.

21.3.5 Ring Bearer

If going the traditional route, the ring bearer would wear a boutonnière just like the groomsmen. However, depending on the age of the ring bearer and the type of outfit worn, you may opt to skip this tradition. Some boys are very sensitive about wearing flowers, even if the big men are. Therefore, you can pass on the boutonnière, which is perfectly fine.

21.3.6 Other Wedding Participants

Although you are not required to purchase corsages or boutonnières for any other individual participating in the wedding, offering them is a nice touch that shows the person you truly appreciate their sharing in your special day.

These individuals would include the minister, musicians, vocalists, reader, guest book attendant, photographer, candle lighters and even the florist.

21.4 Family

Along with buying flowers for the wedding party, there will also be flowers to buy for family. Obviously, these do not need to be as elaborate as your other choices but they should still be beautiful and sentimental.

21.4.1 Mothers

The wedding day is very special to mothers and as a way of showing your love and gratitude, you want to present them with a corsage that is a reflection of them and that co-ordinates with the dress or suit worn. The proper way to present the mother with her corsage is for the bride to pin the flowers on her mother’s dress and for the groom to pin the flowers in his mother’s dress.

21.4.2 Grandmothers

Just as with the mothers, you want to present the grandmothers with a corsage. Again, if possible, try to match the colour to their clothing.  However, you can always buy corsages made from fresh gardenias. This creamy, off-white colour matches everything and they have a wonderful fragrance.

21.4.3 Fathers

For the fathers, you would present them with a boutonnière. This can be something unique to what the groomsmen will be wearing or you can choose identical boutonnières. In this case, again, the bride would pin the boutonnière onto her father’s suit or tuxedo and the groom on his father’s suit or tuxedo.

21.4.4 Grandfathers

A boutonnière worn just like the fathers would be a great choice but again, if you want to do something different, you can simply choose a different type of flower.

21.5 Reception Flowers

In addition to the flowers for the church, family and wedding party, you will also need to purchase flowers for the reception. One way to save some money is to have the larger floral arrangements placed at the front of the church moved to the location of the reception. This way, the flowers can be used for multi purposes and enjoyed without having to pay twice. If you would rather, you can decorate the reception hall with completely different flowers, whichever you prefer. The following recommendations should help guide you through the process and provide you with ideas.

21.5.1 Buffet

If your reception will be set up as a buffet instead of a sit down dinner, then you would want to do something different. In this case, great options would include scattering fresh flower petals along the buffet tables, along with pieces of ribbon, approximately six inches each and curled. The goal in this case is to use flowers with various colours that are both vibrant and soft, creating a well-balanced look.

21.5.2 Centrepieces

For flowers, you probably want to find glass, ceramic or pottery for the containers in that they work best. For the larger tables where the guests will be seated, you should think about having two centrepieces whereas for the smaller tables, one would suffice. The most important thing to remember is that you want the flower arrangement to be colourful, beautiful and fragrant without being too over the top.

For one thing, if you have extremely tall flowers, then the guests will not be able to see or converse with guests seated across from them. Therefore, keep the height in mind when choosing your flowers. To make up for shorter arrangements, you can create a touch of drama and elegance by using colourful ribbons, greenery, river rock and coloured marbles at the base or in the bottom of the containers.

Then, for the table where you and your new spouse will be seated along with family and the wedding party, you can have one large, luxurious arrangement in the centre, accented by smaller arrangements placed along the table.  Again, remember that you want the floral arrangements to create a magnificent atmosphere but also be designed so that people can see one another.

21.5.3 Cake

Many couples are now decorating the wedding cake with fresh flowers instead of sugar designs or the traditional bride and groom cake topper. This option is gorgeous and gives you something a little different while having a very elegant cake.

For example, your florist could create a larger and flowing flower arrangement that would sit directly on top of the top tier of your cake.  Then, he or she could design the flower topper so it has random flowers cascading down the sides. These flowers can be used strictly for decoration or the florist can actually use edible flowers that would be served along with the cake.

To complete the look for the bridal table, the florist can create a garland of co-ordinating flowers that would drape along the table’s edge. Finally, soft flower petals could be scattered intermittently around the table. Although you can choose whatever type of flower you like, some options that look amazing include Peonies, Magnolias and of course, roses!

21.6 Flowers And Photography

Another consideration that most couples never think about is that some flowers will actually not photograph well. They might look beautiful sitting at the front of the church but when the wedding photographs come back, the flowers appear to have faded. Therefore, it is important that you buy both colour and shape of flowers that photograph well and if you are not sure what those are, talk to your photographer.

21.7 Making Your Own

If you are interested in classes, start by talking to floral shops in your area as well as local hobby stores. Many will offer classes that are free or very inexpensive. Next, be sure before you start, you have all of the required tools and accessories such as wire, foam, floral tape, containers, corsage and boutonnière pins and so on.

Before you dive into the real thing, you might purchase flowers made of plastic so you can create a mock bouquet or centrepiece to ensure you have the design just as you want it. That way, when you start making the real arrangements, you will know exactly what you are doing, as well as how the final piece will look.

For the bows, ribbons and other accessories, you can begin to put most of these together well before the flowers arrive. While sitting and watching television, you can make bows and then simply place them in a box until you are ready to use them. This will save time and make the process much easier.

If you have the flowers arranged and set in foam, be sure the foam is moist and the flowers misted every day prior to the wedding. Typically, you would want the flowers to be completed the day just before the wedding.  However, if you do need to store them for more than one day, make sure they stay moist but not wet.

Keep the flowers in a location or cooler that is around 5 to 10 degrees, which could be tricky. In most cases, you would need an actual cooler and may ask your local floral shop or nursery if they have room you can rent for a day or two.

Finally, once the flowers are arranged, make sure you never store them next to fruit. The reason is that fruit has a natural gas, which is what makes fruit ripen. If the flowers are placed near the fruit, these gases will actually work to ripen the leaves and flowers, which will cause them to die.

21.8 Flower Budget

The flowers are an expensive wedding item so finding ways to save money without sacrificing quality or elegance is the number one goal for most couples. The good news is that there are things you can do to cut back the cost while creating your dream wedding full of colour and fragrance.

For starters, do you remember when we mentioned that weddings held during off-season times are less expensive? Well, flowers purchased in September and October would be the least expensive in that they are in abundance, making most species easy to find.

You should also consider buying your flowers directly from a wholesaler. This way, you avoid the high cost of overhead and can save significant money.  Additionally, many times, you will find a better selection by going through a wholesaler. Just remember that you want to ensure that the flowers are guaranteed fresh and also, that you will probably be responsible for picking them up and either arranging them yourself or having them arranged by a professional florist.

Regardless, if you are creating your own floral arrangements or hiring a professional for the job, you should expect to spend 15% of your overall wedding budget, for this one expense. Of course, if you want more flowers or flowers that are tropical and exotic, then they will use up quite a bit of that budget. Therefore, you would need to increase the floral budget or choose flowers that fit within the set 15%.

Just be sure you consider all the costs when you begin looking at wedding flowers. For instance, in addition to the actual flowers, you would need to think about importing charges, administrative fees, delivery fees and so on.  If you happen to know someone that has recently used a florist and was very pleased with the results, you might visit them and hope for a discount.

In addition to the above tips, remember that you can swap out flowers and achieve a magnificent look without the price. One example would be using Zinnias or Dahlias instead of the very costly orchid. If you use a reputable florist, you would be amazed at what he or she can do with any type of flower, which is what makes him or her so great. Just keep your options open and consider everything.

21.9 Matching Style

Just as you would consider various styles of photography, as a way of co-ordinating with your individual personality, the same process can be used when deciding on the flowers, as you will see from the examples below:

21.9.1 Classic Bride

The classic or traditional bride is the type of person that loves heritage and generations of tradition. Since her style is one of elegance and sophistication, she might consider Champagne-Coloured Roses intermixed with a few Gardenias.

This bouquet embellished with, dainty ribbon and perhaps a small amount of greenery, you and you have a gorgeous floral arrangement. Other options for the bouquet would include Lemon-Coloured Tulips with a touch of Daffodils and White Stephanotis.

21.9.2 Diva Bride

The diva bride also loves elegant things but she tends to be more chic.  Generally, the bouquets would consist of vibrantly coloured Roses mixed with soft, creamy flowers, giving it a perfect balance. Enhanced with ribbon or small amounts of coral or deep red flowers, the bouquet would be wonderful.  You might also consider a bouquet made from Belles of Ireland or Green Ladies, blended with Magenta Peonies.

21.9.3 Fashion Bride

Similar to the hip bride, the fashion bride also loves trendy and fun flowers but choices that are even more dramatic. All of the details should be immaculate and the flowers regal in appearance and fragrance. Wonder flowers would include Hibiscus, Daffodils, Honeysuckle Vine, Orchids and other expensive type flowers.

21.9.4 Hip Bride

Preferring things modern and trendy, this type of bride appreciates flowers that are exciting and vibrant in both colour and style. The hip bride generally has a free spirit and therefore, is eager to try something new and different.  A few options to consider include Chocolate-Coloured Cosmos mingled with several Lavender Roses and then wrapped with a softer shade of lace or ribbon. Other flowers that the hip bride would love include Burgundy Calla Lilies coupled with Raspberry Dahlias.

21.9.5 Natural Bride

The natural bride loves simple yet elegant things. Instead of the traditional bouquet, this bride would prefer to carry a spray of fresh-cut flowers consisting of Daffodils, Pink Tulips, Daisies or Narcissus. Wrapped with rice paper, small strings of ribbon and a few sprigs of wheat would complete the look.

An alternative would be any flower with soft purple or gentle yellow, gently wrapped with a simple ribbon or strings of wheat. Flowers are usually the types that you would find in the springtime, consisting of soft purples and faint yellows with a hint of Baby’s Breath.

21.9.6 Romantic Bride

Everything for the romantic bride is soft, feminine and gentle. Typically, she would prefer pastel-coloured flowers such as Purple Cosmos with a touch of Lilac, Pink Hydrangeas or Violet Sweet Peas. These flowers could be wrapped with a silver or gold ribbon to complete the look.

20. The Wedding Cake

Typically, a professionally made wedding cake will run you from $300 to $500, depending on the style and the number of people you will need to feed. Now keep in mind that you can always make your own cake or have a friend or family member create one but you want to ensure that the final product will look fantastic and not like a cake just thrown together, as a way of saving money.

20.1 Making Your Own Cake

If you have ever baked a cake, you can bake a wedding cake. It may not be the five-tier cake made by a professional cake maker but it can still look elegant and taste delicious. The one thing to consider for making your own wedding cake is that it does take time and patience. Therefore, if you are planning a large wedding or simply do not have the time to dedicate to such a project, then you might leave this aspect of the reception to the professionals.  However, if you do want to make your own cake, you will need to determine the following information:

• Size of cake needed to ensure every guest will get a piece.
• Flavour of the cake as well as any fill and topping flavours.
• Design, whether you want a large sheet cake or layers that will be suspended.

When it comes to flavours, you can choose a cake right out of the box if you like. While a cake made from scratch would be great, boxed cakes are so delicious today that it is almost impossible to tell them apart. Additionally, you will have a choice of all kinds of flavours and can mix and match them.

The same would be true for the frosting. You can choose from a variety of flavours to co-ordinate with the cake but the one flavour you can not go wrong with is butter cream. The downfall of using commercial frosting is that it is very thick. Because of this, piping it onto the cake is very difficult. In this case, making frosting from scratch would be a better option.

20.2 Custom Cakes

The design and flavours of wedding cakes have made dramatic changes over the past several years. While you can still choose a traditional, white cake with white icing, the choices you have today are much more elegant and flavourful. Keep in mind that when it comes to your choice of wedding cake, there is no wrong or right, merely what you prefer and what co-ordinates best with your type of wedding.

One option to consider is to have a pastry chef create a custom cake for your wedding. This professional is specially trained, making unique cakes. Another outstanding option, although a bit more expensive, is to hire a confectionary artist. This art dates back to England and spans over the past 150 years. More and more couples are turning to this option in that the designs are breathtakingly beautiful. Rather than ice or decorate the cake, a confectionary artist actually sculpts the cake. If you think you might want to go this route, remember that demand is high. Therefore, you need to book as far out as possible.

The confectionary artist focuses on one or more different forms such as a garden, flowers, stained glass or abstract designs. As a means of developing this skill, these confectionary artists travel around the globe to learn all they can about this very special art form. They will attend gardening shows, flower exhibits, study books and so on, all to perfect their skill.

20.3 Decorations

The nice thing about today’s wedding cakes is that they can be decorated in literally hundreds of ways. One very popular method is using fresh flowers.  Using a fresh or candied flower topper along with other flowers is an inexpensive way to enhance your wedding cake. If your wedding will be formal and ultra elegant, then exotic flowers could be used for adornment.

Instead of candied roses and ribbons, you might consider a clean look, by incorporating Zen into the design. For example, you could choose a unique octagon-shaped cake that includes sugar paste orchids or other exotic flowers along with an edible vase or cube-shaped tiers embellished with lily pads and water lilies.

Whimsical designs are also very popular. For this type of cake, you could choose a beautiful cake with pink icing that is decorated with edible, silver stars, colourful polka dots or some other fun design. As touched on, the shape of today’s cakes are amazing. While you could still choose the traditional, round tier, cake makers also make cakes that are shaped as hexagon, octagon, square and so on. Oval shaped tiers are also popular, being designed with various types of flowers made of sugar paste that are carefully stacked between the layers.

The cake’s trimmings also count. If you want a sure thing, you can always choose fresh and sugar paste flowers, edible butterflies, dragonflies, basket weave designs, fresh fruit, marzipan designs, Swiss dots, scrollwork and even family monograms.

Depending on the formality of the wedding cake, the decorations can be simplistic or quite elaborate. Some considerations include:

• Dragees – These hard sugar balls are painted gold or silver and edible.
• Gum Paste – Made from gelatin, corn starch and sugar, you can make realistic looking fruit or flower decorations that will withstand heat or humidity.
• Marzipan – This Italian paste is made from sugar, egg whites and almonds. The consistency is perfect for creating fruits or flowers that can then be used to decorate the cake. Typically, Marzipan is brightly coloured to make the decorations look incredible and can be used as cake icing and looks chic when smoothed on the sides and then raked with a fork to create straight or wavy lines.
• Piping – This icing is placed in a pastry bag and used with different tips to make whatever look you want such as latticework, basket weave, seashells and more.
• Pulled Sugar – By boiling water, sugar and corn syrup, you can create a type of pulled sugar that is perfect for creating bows, roses and other decorations. Because the sugar is pulled, it has a shiny look of satin that gives the cake an elegant appearance.

20.4 Icing

Even cake icing has been transformed. White or off-white icing remains a popular choice but today, couples are choosing colour. A great example would be ordering a café latte cake with a dark, brown icing. Another option would be a pina colada cake with ice blue or light pistachio colour or a cherry cake with pink and red icing or bright red. As you can see, the possibilities are endless.

You will find that you have some incredible options when it comes to icing.  The following are a few to consider:

• Butter Cream – This is the traditional icing that you find on cakes purchased from the store. Typically, it is very rich, creamy and can be coloured easily. Cake makers use this type of icing for piping flowers, leaves, seashells and so on. The one drawback is that the main ingredient is butter, which melts when it is too hot. Therefore, if you are having an outdoor wedding, you should probably avoid using butter cream icing.
• Fondant – Many famous cake makers prefer this type of icing. Made from corn syrup and gelatin, the texture is smooth yet stiff enough to work with. Fondant is not as tasty as butter cream icing but flavouring can be added to enhance it’s taste.
• Ganache – This rich, chocolate icing is made from chocolate and heavy cream and has a nice smooth consistency that makes the perfect choice for a glass-like finish. Additionally, Ganache can be used in between cake layers and for some decoration. The only downfall is that it does not provide enough stability so excessive heat or humidity will cause the icing to slide off of the cake.
• Royal Icing – Made from powdered sugar and milk or egg whites, this icing is shiny white, dries hard and does not have to be refrigerated.  Although not good for the entire wedding cake, it is perfect for decoration.
• Whipped Cream – Of all the icings, this is the most wonderful.  Whipped cream can be used on a wedding cake if refrigerated for a long time to give it stability. Additionally, whipped cream can be flavoured and even mixed with other icings to give them a light, fluffy taste and texture.

20.5 Flavour

This is where the wedding cake becomes very exciting and fun. Again, at one time, you had your choice of a white, chocolate or perhaps a marbled cake but today, that has all changed.

Cake makers now offer just about every flavour imaginable and if the flavour does not exist, then you can be sure most will do whatever they can to create it. Some of the most popular flavours you will find include:

• White Chocolate.
• Strawberry.
• Raspberry.
• Pina Colada.
• Mango-Papaya.
• Spice.
• Lemon.
• Butter Rum.
• Chocolate Mousse.
• Coconut Cream.
• Amaretto.
• Grand Mariner.
• Passion Fruit.
• Praline.

The cake should be moist and have a mouth-watering aroma. Another option is to choose a cake and in addition to the base flavour, have a co-ordinating filling. Additionally, many couples are now offering guests a tiered cake made from several different flavours.

Even if you are on a budget, you can have a two-tiered wedding cake made of flavours that are your favourite and then have several sheet cakes made of the same flavours. This ensures the guests are still being offered the same wonderful flavours as what you will enjoy but with the sheet cake option, you save money.

20.6 Theme

Many couples are turning to themed weddings and to complement their choice, they choose a unique wedding cake. These are just a few suggestions:

• Romance And Elegance – The traditional wedding cake is a three-tiered cake made as a chocolate or white flavour and white icing, usually Royal Icing. Today’s version would still be a three-tiered cake but with a luscious lemon flavour, a creamy vanilla or lemon curd filling that is piped in between the layers and a silky butter cream icing. The decoration would include miniature garden roses and geraniums with a lilac or soft pink colour.
• Roses – This magnificent cake is romantic, creating an impression for the guests. This wedding cake is created with six tiers, typically with the traditional white or marbled flavour, red jam piped into the layers and then decorated with a white butter cream icing. To decorate the cake, you can use red roses made from marzipan to create the cake topper and then gracefully cascaded down the side of the tower. If you want a wedding cake that is refreshing and gorgeous, this would be the perfect choice.
• Fairytale Princess – Just imagine a five-tiered cake made from white chocolate. All five tiers are carefully wrapped with a fondant that is a marble white and ivory, which can be left smooth or have small grids added by the cake designer. The decoration would include an archway, which serves as the cake topper, dripping with ivy and rosettes. The body of the cake is covered with hand-painted flowers that coordinate with your colours of the wedding, dotted with small amounts of Lily of the Valley and miniature roses.
• Outdoor Vineyard – For an outdoor wedding reception, you might consider a magnificent five-tier wedding cake made as the traditional white cake. Iced with butter cream, this cake has an amazing topper made from glittering grapes. Accenting the rest of the cake is seeded eucalyptus, fresh hydrangea and a few additional sparkling grapes scattered around the base.
• Queen And King – This cake is stunning and regal. Created as a five-tier cake, it would shimmer with pink fondant bringing a sense of Royalty to the wedding reception. While the cake is topped with fresh roses, the edge of each tier is designed with rose petals and leaves sculpted from a deeper pink made from fondant.
• Victoria Era – Victorian weddings are very popular. The cakes are designed with elegance and charm. For this type of wedding, you would choose a four-tiered cake with a delicious and light golden strawberry flavour. The cake designer could wrap the tiers in fondant, leaving it smooth. Then, around the edges piping with an antique look would be added while the cake itself is covered with miniature roses, jewel-encrusted fans and flowing ribbon.

20.7 Cost

When it comes to the cost of the wedding cake, you can expect to pay anywhere from $3 to $6 per slice of cake. Keep in mind that if you choose to work with a cake designer or confectionary artist, this price will increase.  Additionally, if you choose to have special effects such as a waterfall, staircase, fountain and so on, the price would also be influenced.

Regardless of your choice, typically you will need to pay a 25% to 50% deposit.  For items used in the design of the cake, once they are returned after the reception, you will typically get some of the deposit back. Just make sure you understand exactly what is being covered with your deposit before making your final decision.

In addition to the cost associated with the actual making of the cake, there are usually fees associated with the delivery, setup and staying around for any last minute emergency repairs. Again, get everything in writing and make sure you understand and agree to the various costs associated with the cake.

While the bride’s family traditionally pays for the cake, many families are now sharing the cost. You will need to talk to both sides of the family to determine who will pay what before you order the cake so you know the type of budget you have to work with. If you want something more or different, you can always pitch in towards the cost. Remember that the price of the wedding cake will vary dramatically from one cake designer to the next and from design to design, as well as the number of guests you will need to feed along with the design of the cake.

No matter what prices you find, you need to be realistic with your choices. It would be very easy to go overboard for a fabulous cake but considering that it will be eaten in a short time, you will need to weigh the benefits against the disadvantages. Be logic and remember that you can still have a beautiful cake without spending a fortune. The key is to shop around, be flexible and plan.

20.7.1 Cutting Costs

One way to save money is to have the wedding cake made by the same caterer that will be handling your reception. Additionally, you can save by using a pastry chef instead of a cake designer or confectionary artist. You might also consider having the cake picked up and delivered by a member of the family or a friend, which will save you money as well.

The same would be true if you have someone you know cut the cake because many times, you will pay a cutting fee from the company that made the cake.  You can also keep the cost down by having a two-tier wedding cake for the bride, groom, wedding party and family and then setting up a table featuring a variety of flavoured sheet cakes for the guests. This way, everyone will have the opportunity to eat a delicious and beautiful cake but the price is less.

Another option would be to serve various types of cakes, which could include cheesecake and angel food cake. Finally, use your own serving utensils, which can be purchased for less than it would cost you to rent from the cake company.

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19. Wedding Photography

Of all the things that you will plan for your upcoming wedding, the photography is one aspect that you want to get right. After all, you will not have a second chance so you need to make sure you work with the best photographer money can buy and that you do not skimp. That might mean cutting back somewhere else but considering that the photographs will be a lifelong treasure, it would be worth it.

19.1 Choosing The Photographer

Although price will be a major deciding factor, there are actually factors that are far more important. It is important that you feel comfortable with the photographer and that he or she listens to you in order to create the type of photographs that you want.

If you are not sure where to find a qualified photographer, you might start by asking friends or family members who were recently married. If you do not know of anyone, then check your local listings or you can search for one on the internet. To ensure you choose the “right” photographer, you want to contact six or seven so you have something to compare.

19.1.1 Interview Process

You will first talk to the photographers on the phone to determine if they are available on the date of your wedding. If so, then you want to get answers to some general questions before you narrow your choice down for interviews, with the goal of interviewing at least four photographers. Some of the questions you will need answers to during your phone conversation relate to the following:

• Number of years experience, specifically in taking wedding photographs.
• Date of their most recent wedding.
• Type of equipment used.
• Work alone or with a partner.
• Price estimate.
• Photojournalism or videography experience.
• Photographer philosophy.

After you have narrowed the choices down, you would then schedule time for an interview. You should plan on a minimum of one hour each so you have ample time to ask additional questions. Additionally, it would be best if both the bride and groom talk to the photographer in person so all the bases can be covered and different perspectives can be gained that might otherwise be overlooked.

Be sure you take a notebook and pen and take tons of notes. After you have completed all the interviews, the two of you can sit down together to talk about the pros and cons of each photographer to determine which one would be the best choice for your wedding.

Remember, that even if the photographer is pleasant and seems to be honest, you want that and more, you want experience. Although it might be tempting to go with the person that seems more like a friend, keep in mind that this is a business transaction and something you can not afford to mess up.

19.1.2 Education

You also want to educate yourself on the technical aspects of photography, which is something most couples overlook. This is important because it will help you ask the right questions and understand the answers. As an example, you might ask the photographer if he or she shoots with 35mm film or in medium format.

The reason this type of question is important is that if you decide later to have one of the wedding photos blown up to poster size, if the photographer uses only 35mm film, this could not be done, while shooting in medium creates a negative that can be used for larger sizes without losing the integrity of the photograph.

19.1.3 Effects

This too is important in that it can take an ordinary photograph and turn it into something spectacular and unique. For instance, ask the photographer if he or she uses anything for special effects such as fish-eye lens, sepia tone or infrared film. Just be sure the photographer has solid experience with special effects or you would simply be wasting your money.

19.1.4 References

When choosing the photographer, you always want to check his or her quality of work, which can be done by asking for references and looking at portfolios.  You want a photographer that has experience with weddings but also a professional that uses high quality equipment. While asking for references is one-step, if you do not actually follow up on them, then you have missed the most important aspect of the interview.

19.2 Standard Packages

As you interview the various photographers, you will discover that while most offer packages that are very similar in nature, others might offer packages that are more personalised.

19.2.1 Premium Photo Cards

For instance, you might find options that include premium photo cards, which hold individual photos and measure seven by three and one-quarter inches.

These cards will vary in price but typically, you would expect to pay around $4 per card. The only drawback is that you would need to buy them in a bulk order of 40 or more. The nice thing about using photo cards is that they make excellent placeholders at the reception or they can be used as thank you cards.

19.2.2 Enhancements

Another favourite choice for many couples is to enhance the wedding photos.  This can be done by adding a border, special text or technology where the photos can fade in and out. Additionally, you should try to find a photographer that uses either Fuji or Kodak technology. The reason is that being leaders in the photography industry, professionals can do all types of exciting things.

19.3 Videographer

Along with professional photographs for your wedding, you might consider having videography instead of or in addition to a typical wedding photographer. With new technology, videography has become a sophisticated option. Because of this, it is an ideal choice for many occasions, especially weddings. A very popular option is SVHS or video cameras, which perform exceptionally well in mood lighting, which is common at weddings.

By hiring a videographer, you will capture your wedding in a beautiful and unique manner. Working with a professional videographer will give you a huge advantage of having something new and exciting that you will enjoy for a lifetime. Just keep in mind that just like with a photographer, there are different styles and prices for videography.

You want to meet with the videographer to make sure he or she has proper expertise and understands the things important to you on your wedding day.  Additionally, the videographer will need to know what your budget is so that the proper package can be established. An important note is that before you hire a videographer, be sure to get permission from the management or minister of where the wedding and reception will be held since some places do not allow taping.

Some information to help make the decision-making process easier includes the following:

• Real Time – This style of videography is where the taping will begin as the guests start to arrive and will continue until the end of the reception. The result of the film is straightforward and requires no editing and no interruptions. Only one camera is used in this case so if you happen to be on a tight budget, this would be a great option.
• Nostalgia – For this style, the video begins with photographs of the bride and groom from when they were children. It would then show video of them in high school, college, dating and so on. Next, the video would show special moments that the couple shared while dating and then move to the wedding day and reception. Often, taping of the honeymoon is included and depending on your preference, the tape might include narration, music or special effects.
• Wedding And Documentary – Finally, the wedding ceremony and reception are filmed as a documentary. With this type of video, it tells a story of the bride and groom’s lives, as a couple. In most cases, the tape would show the bride and groom getting ready for the wedding, include many candid shots and would have interviews from people that are close to the couple. Of the three styles of videography, this is the most popular. Additionally, you can have two cameras filming at the same time so that more footage can be captured. The one drawback is that the film would need to be heavily edited, therefore costing the most.

19.4 Using Digital Photography

One option that many couples are considering is having a friend or family member that knows something about photography to capture the wedding with a digital camera. The huge advantage is that since the shot can be seen immediately with a digital camera and redone if needed, the person taking the photos does not necessarily have to be a professional.

Taking digital photographs are easy and quick. The key is using the right type of digital camera, one intended for professional results. While a non-professional can buy a good quality digital camera for $500, if a professional will be using this type of camera, typically, these high-end digital cameras range in price from $3,500 to $7,000 or more. However, for the price, they have high resolution and pixel size, providing the photographer with all the necessary settings and options for quality photographers.

Additionally, with this type of camera, the photographer has more options for being creative. As an example, he or she can change angles, cropping, lighting and so on. You will also discover that the quality is outstanding.  Another huge advantage is that the images captured on the digital camera can be uploaded to a computer or CD. This means for family members or friends living far away and not able to attend the wedding, they can receive a copy of the wedding and see it as though they were there in person.

19.5 Photography Styles

Along with the bride and groom choosing the wedding attire, menu, cake and other aspects of the wedding that co-ordinates best with their personality and lifestyle, the photography also has specific styles. By working with a reputable photographer, he or she can capture exactly the type of photographs best for you.

19.5.1 Classic Bride

The classic bride enjoys style and tradition. The photographs are formal and colourful and generally framed in gold or silver. You would expect to see many photographs of the family, the first dance, the couple cutting the wedding cake, the bride tossing the bouquet and the limousine, as it pulls away to whisk the bride and groom to their honeymoon destination.

19.5.2 Diva Bride

Typically, the diva bride loves being the centre of attention. She generally dresses to the hilt and often goes overboard on everything. The photographer should understand the importance of creating and capturing drama. The types of shots included would be the bride standing alone on a spiral staircase or flipping her head back while laughing. To be successful with this style of photographer, it is important that the photographer flow with the event.

19.5.3 Fashion Bride

For this bride, photographs of everything possible should be taken.  She generally wants her wedding album to be filled with every moment and aspect of this special day, always looking for detail.  Examples would include photographs of the hand-sewn sequins on the maid of honour’s gown, close-up of the centrepieces, the groomsmen in their smart tuxedos – everything!

19.5.4 Hip Bride

Generally, the hip bride lives life at her own pace and rhythm. She tends to be very creative, innovative and fun and is the type of person that enjoys wearing the latest fashions or the finest jewellery. This type of bride wants a photographer that captures her uniqueness and incorporating it with the wedding. The types of photographs you would see include the couple doing the “Chicken Dance” instead of the Waltz, acting sexy while removing the garter or stuffing each other’s face with wedding cake.

19.5.5 Natural Bride

Photographs for the natural bride include simple, innocent-type shots, which might include the bride and groom gazing into each other’s eyes, the bride sitting on the groom’s lap or the groom gently touching her face. The natural bride loves photographs that show emotion while capturing honesty and pure love shared between two people in love.

19.5.6 Romantic Bride

The romantic bride prefers soft and close-up shots. For instance, the photographs would include the couple sitting together in a horse-drawn carriage, the bride smelling a single red rose or the bride and groom toasting glasses of champagne.

19.6 Add Ons

To make your wedding photographs something incredible, you want to work with a professional that knows how to work with add-ons. These special techniques are the perfect solution for creating wedding photographs that are completely different from any others. The result is that in addition to magnificent photographs, you will have photos more like a work of art. Some of the following techniques are what you will find when it comes to add-ons but keep in mind that there are many others to consider.

• Hand-Tinted – Beautiful photographs are created in that a colourist will take a black and white wedding photograph and then actually colour it in by hand. The result is stunning and very romantic.
• Sepia Tone – With this technique, photographs are treated with Sepia, transforming them to having a soft, golden glow that looks like an antique photograph. This is done during the processing and is a gorgeous effect.
• Sloppy Borders – This is ideal for the bride and groom that enjoy contemporary and artsy things. This particular treatment is also done during the processing and creates an unusual border that has an almost sloppy appearance.
• Wide-Angle Lens – Often, weddings zero in on the bride and groom or might extend to include the wedding party but with wide-angle lens, the photographer can capture more of the scenery.

19.7 The Contract

Because this is a business deal, you need a contract, signed by both parties.  Be sure the contract includes all aspects of the wedding as well as the services offered. For instance, you want the following to be included for starters:

• Date and time of the wedding.
• Name and contact information for the photographer and his or her assistant.
• The type of film that will be used.
• The style of photographs that will be taken.
• The amount of time the photographer will stay (wedding or wedding plus reception).
• Any special effects that will be included.
• The type and cost of the proofs and wedding album.
• The amount of the deposit paid.
• The amount of payment due and the due date.
• Cancellation and refund policies (as well as details on what constitutes a cancellation and/or refund).

Again, depending on your wedding and the photographer, these are the main things you would want covered in the contract. Just remember, it is better to have too much information than not enough. Therefore, get everything in writing, even if it seems like overkill. If for some reason the photographer is uncomfortable with that, you should be asking yourself why.

19.8 The Cost

When hiring a professional photographer, plan on paying a good price if you want quality. Although most couples are a bit surprised at how expensive photography can be, this one investment is worth it. In most cases, the photographer will charge “a la carte”, which mean his or her time has a set fee but then you can choose various options that cost an additional fee.

On average, you can expect to pay approximately $800 to $1,500. Again, if you want something extra or more add-ons, then the price would increase.  The cost of a videographer will also vary but runs from $1,000 to $7,000 or more, which is in addition to the photography.

19.9 Photo Album Or Scrapbook

Creating a wedding album and/or scrapbook is something most couples do, as a way of maintaining and showing off their wedding photographs. Keeping the photographs in an album or scrapbook, they can be displayed beautifully and they are kept safe.

In addition to the photographs, with a wedding scrapbook, memorabilia can be kept, which might include things the couple did while dating. For example, you might keep concert ticket stubs, a deflated balloon from a surprise party and so on. Additionally, just as you would do with a traditional scrapbook, the wedding scrapbook can be embellished with rubber-stamping, cut out paper, ribbon and other fun things.

The goal is to have fun and make both the album and scrapbook creative.  You want the books to reflect your character and lifestyle so that you can look back on it over the years and marvel in all you have accomplished. For each of the photographs, you can make a title, something fun and witty.  Then, add cutouts from magazines, dried flowers and borders or whatever you like, making it colourful.

Although you will have many things to do after you become husband and wife, the best time to get started is as soon as you can so all the memories are fresh in your mind. This time is also when the emotions are the freshest so you can add comments that will mean something special.

To make the album and/or scrapbook, you want to use a variety of wedding and reception photographs, meaning mix both coloured and black and white photographs as well as candid with posed photographs. You will be amazed at how great the books look and each time you sit down to look at them, a big smile will be brought to your face.

18. Tuxedos

While sometimes the groom and his groomsmen can wear nice suits for the wedding, for a typical wedding, tuxedos would be worn. Just like with the bridal party, there are challenges in choosing the tuxedos. Men too want to look and feel good when standing up in a wedding and not all men have the same physics. That means finding the style of tuxedo that they all like and that they feel good wearing.

18.1 Tips For Shopping

Since most men do not own a tuxedo, one would need to be rented. Instead of choosing the first tuxedo style you see, take your time to find the style that all the groomsmen and best man like and that works best with the bridal party’s attire. Just as with the gowns, you can get a good idea of available styles by looking at bridal magazines.

To find a tuxedo rental shop, you might have a family member or friend that was recently married who could provide you with a good recommendation. If not, you can always check your local yellow pages or conduct research online.  When renting tuxedos, you want the nicest quality possible without spending a fortune since it will just be worn one time.

It is important that you not wait until the last minute to start shopping for the tuxedos, especially if you were planning a summertime wedding when many couples are being wed. Therefore, start your search a minimum of six months from the wedding date and work with just one company for all of your tuxedo needs.

The reason is that renting from more than one shop puts you at risk of having variation in style and colour, even if the two shops say the tuxedos are identical. You can be sure they may look similar but upon closer examination, you will see differences. On average, a tuxedo will run anywhere from $50 to $300, depending on the style.

18.2 Tuxedo Designs

You will quickly discover that shopping for tuxedos is not at all, what you expected. With many different styles, you need to consider this choice carefully, just as you would with the bridal gowns. The following is helpful information, as you begin your search for the tuxedo and accessories:

• Double-Breasted – Coat style that has two rows of buttons.
• Cummerbund – This pleated sash is worn around the waist with the pleats worn facing up. Additionally, cummerbunds are available in a number of great colours.
• Lay-Down Formal Shirt – The collar is much like a regular dress shirt with the exception that it has a pleated front. The clean lines of this shirt make it a great choice for a formal wedding.
• Notch Lapel – With this style, a notch is cut out of the lapel.  Typically, suits worn with this style are single-breasted.
• Peak Lapel – The lapel is wider and comes to a peak. Generally, this type of lapel would be worn with a double-breasted suit.
• Shawl Lapel – The lapel is rounded and not split.
• Single-Breasted – Coat style with just one row of buttons.
• Wing-Tip Formal Shirt – This shirt is traditional for weddings and designed with a collar that is short and triangular.

If you were planning an ultra conservative and formal wedding, you could go with a White Tie Tuxedo. This style is very classic and consists of the white tuxedo, white shirt, white vest, white tie, black tailcoat, black trousers that have satin strips on the sides and then black patent leather shoes.

The Black Tie Tuxedo can also be worn for formal weddings but has a less elegant appearance. This style consists of a black tuxedo with tailcoat, white shirt, vest or cummerbund, which can be white, black or a colour to match the wedding, a black tie to match the cummerbund and then black patent leather shoes.

Both styles are wonderful and the choice is generally based on the level of formality. Regardless, just be sure all the groomsmen agree so everyone is happy with the final choice.

18.3 Tuxedo Fitting

Typically, the best man will take over responsibility for rounding up all the groomsmen and getting them to the tuxedo shop at the same time. Together and armed with some direction from the bride and groom, they can start their search for the right tuxedo.

Men are no different from women when it comes to wanting to look nice, taking pride in their appearance. Therefore, they too will want to have some input as to the type of style that looks best on the various body types. The best man should respect their input and couple that with the type of tuxedo the couple wants for the wedding to come up with the perfect solution.

After the tuxedos are rented, one or more of the groomsmen may need a little alteration done. If so, the best man is again responsible for ensuring this is done. Although it may seem a little like babysitting, people get busy and there needs to be one person that can spearhead the process.

The groomsmen and the best man also want to match the cummerbund or shirt, coordinating with the style of the groom as well as the colour and theme of the wedding. While the tuxedo rental shop will carry the cummerbund, you can probably save money by having the men all buy their shirts at a local department store. These are generally less than $20 each and can be worn again after the wedding.

In addition to the best man and groomsmen wearing the same shoes and tuxedos, if the wedding is formal, then the fathers and the ring bearer should match. Although it is not required, if there are grandfathers attending the wedding and again, if the wedding is very formal, it would be considered an honour to have them in tuxedos as well.

Now, sometimes, couples have friends or family members that come from out of town to be in the wedding. For this situation, you can have them visit a tailor where they live and then provide the measurements to you. When the best man takes the other groomsmen to rent tuxedos, he can give the tailor at the tuxedo rental shop those measurements to set aside the extra tuxedo.  Just make sure you have the measurements for the following:

• Pant waist.
• Pant length.
• Shirt neck size.
• Sleeve length.
• Jacket length.
• Jacket size.
• Shoe size.

18.4 Shoes

As with the maid of honour and bridesmaids, as long as the shoes are all the same colour or similar colour, finish and style, they do not have to be identical, unless you want them to be. For instance, if you or the groomsmen are on a budget, they might be able to use dress shoes they already have as long as they meet the criteria you set.

However, keep in mind that if they need to get shoes, they can also rent these from the tuxedo shop for a very affordable price. That way, you know that each person will be wearing the exact same shoe. For the shoe rental, you can expect to pay as little as $20.

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